"farewell, fellow human, son of mine, in this authentically staged photo-op as you go to human-school. actual-humans exchange human emotions through a physical gesture of some sort. perhaps a handshake? yes. a handshake. the human photographers will surely document this actual-human interaction between myself (a human) and my son (also, a human) and the people of this country will finally embrace me as an actual human."

(narrator: humans don't shake their sons' hands when they drop them off for the first day of school…)