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this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2024
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What a lovely person
In my experience, the people who complain about being the only ones doing all the hard work are the ones doing more complaining than actual working.
One would spend several hours almost daily chitchatting at other people's desks about how they are the hardest worker and things can only get done if they do it, they're the first in, last out, etc. But spends half their day complaining instead of working.
Another is a serial whiner who says no one else ever does anything, they have to do it all in order to get it done, yet they always have some excuse why they don't have to come in that day, or have to leave early, take a longer lunch, and spends a good chunk of their day gossiping.
Can we please call mental problems what they are?
You can have mental problems while also being an asshole.
That's ultimately a question of determinism, free will and whether it counts as "being an asshole" if you literally can't behave otherwise in cases highlighted as the reason.
For example, when a person with PDA doesn't do something especially when asked to, is it being an asshole?
Or when a narcissistic person refused to do anything that implies they've done something wrong before, and does the opposite maybe?
Or when a person with ADHD doesn't behave the way it's convenient for people around them?
Most people who called me an asshole in my life refused to understand that I don't want their social dynamics and discourses, I just want to discuss the particular question, literally. Not as part of finding some in-group and saying bad things towards some out-group, but literally to clarify the specific question. Well, and also some of them demanded respect they didn't deserve. That is, they were assholes, but I'm not sure you would agree, because you are likely not autistic and won't understand me.
I also have been rather hostile in situations making me recall my past wounds. Maybe I was an asshole, and maybe the other person could have been more considerate.
This is all subjective, the situation here is that from the description she clearly perceived what others said and did not as intended to be perceived. Case closed.
I have an personality disorder (avoidant with paranoid and schizoid aspects).
Even if i strongly feel stuff that is not adequate to the situation (which is every single social interaction), it is still my responsibility to decide if i act on those emotions or not.
It is also my own responsibility to get help for my issues, which means that i have had weekly therapy sessions for years now, and i don't think i will ever stop going.
I do not act on my irratonal impulses, which shows that most people with mental disorders have the choice if they wanna be an asshole or not. A person with enough stability to file 40 court cases - which would just overwhelm me, there's no chance in hell that i would do something like that - is stable enough to start therapy and stop themselves from shit like that. Case closed.
No, how you act doesn't show anything about others, and your own issues being manageable or allowing choice don't show anything about others' issues.
Speaking of mental problems. You need to take a chill pill bro, why are you being so standoffish? This is a public discussion forum, not everyone is going to agree with you.
Cause I know what I'm talking about, unlike some who just want to shit on a person from some article they don't personally know. Also the particular comment you are answering is chill enough.
Oh, so you know this lady and aren't presuming and making assumptions in exactly the same way as everyone else?
Yes, I'm using the information given in the article and choose to not make assumptions outside of that.
I'm also not making moral judgements about her, only about people in the comments showing themselves.
So the bar for you is generally knowing a non-zero amount of things about mental disorders but for others in this thread it’s having to know the person from the article?
Setting yourself up for an easy win by default there, smart. What’s not smart is apparently assuming you’re the only one in this thread that is even faintly familiar with mental disorders and therefore others must bow to your subjective opinion.
You don’t have to know any particular person to know that having a mental disorder doesn’t magically un-asshole them or shield them from all criticism; origin from disorder is an explanation, not an excuse. I know I’d never expect, or frankly want, anyone to suffer my presence if one of my many oddities caused them some kind of significant distress.
I've read your comment and found nothing worth an answer.
...so, do you have a mental problem or you're just being an asshole?
Luckily nothing was asked, no answer was sought.
Then it's unclear why would you fart out your personality to me.
Not everything has an answer and not everything needs to be answered. Given that you think subjective opinion is either objectively right or wrong, it’s incredibly obvious that the idea that someone would give opinion for consideration rather than argument is lost on you.
Your idea that mental disorders, and one’s opinion of it, constitutes a personality might have something to do with it.
Why is some who's "demanding respect they don't deserve" an asshole as opposed to just someone who's suffering from mental problems that make them act that way?
Free will and responsibility.
So the mentally ill have no agency? A person with autism is no better than an animal, unable to rise above their condition in any way?
It seems to me that proclivity is an explanation, not an excuse. The same way that upbringing or bad influences are an explanation, not an excuse.
Being an asshole is a mental problem in the literal sense. If you mean the thing more commonly known as a "mental problem", then no, we can't because we don't have access to her diagnosis.
You know why "retard" is offensive nowadays, even though it literally means "slow" which is a pretty nice word to use? Because people overused it to mean whatever they wanted and, unsurprisingly, people stopped liking it. Don't do the same for "mental problems".
A bullshit argument. Mental health is as imperfect as all the other matters of health, even more. People can get many different diagnoses until getting the right one FFS. People may not get any at all.
Most situations when somebody behaves clearly "weird" are about mental health. Definitely when they can be described as "conspiracy-minded".
You know, I'm using it right. The post we are arguing under describes this clear enough. The word "retard" got misused by people like you, not like me.
And no, what I'm doing is better than what you are doing.
I fucking hate NT's who treat the behavior of others by their own measure and then find 100 excuses to not just give people some chance, especially since their judgement is worth less than that of cockroaches ; more than that, they also judge against those others when there is any ambiguity and think it's fine.
Most autistic people (especially those who weren't homeschooled) have had the experience of people around them refusing to accept the fact that they are autistic, because it's much easier and more pleasant for NT's to think that someone is below you in hierarchy and\or just weak and\or worse than you as a person, and not outside of said hierarchy. I just want you to understand that your opinion on that doesn't count. Life is complex and many people don't have a diagnosis till rather late in life.
But then not being autistic - one can call it your own mental problems - you may not be able to.
How would you differentiate "someone with mental problems" from "someone who behaves in a way that is opposed to what I believe is 'right'"?
If I can see it, by whether they are capable to recognize reality and whether they act compulsively or may the wrong choice.