I have been eating better and getting more routine exercise for 2 months and 1 month (respectively) and yesterday/this morning I felt like I noticed a real difference in my appearance. like I looked more how I wanted to look in my mind, which is not a thought I considered having in my 40s.

I don't track my weight (long story), but my belts have been getting cinched tighter for over a month and I've felt a shitload better for a while. I've got a routine Drs appointment where I'll be weighed in, so that will be interesting to see how it's going by all the indexes.

also, I get paid this week and it will be the first time since the move (2 months ago) where I will be running an actually monthly budget surplus and be able to contribute to savings again (instead of just raiding it).

feels like a lot of things in my personal life are turning a corner and confirming for me that making a huge change later in life (permanently relocating ~1500 miles away, leaving a lot of great people behind, new/more stable job for slightly less pay to start) was absolutely the right move. the new gig isn't perfect and I do miss my work friends terribly, but it's so much less toxic and dysfunctional. and no longer having to allocate the mental-emotional-social bandwidth to accommodate that toxicity anymore seems to have freed me up to take better care of myself and tackle life's challenges better.

I look forward more to the future, making new friends, discovering new places, and being of service to my new community. it's like a third act to my life has suddenly begun in a moment of desperate chaos, but now things are settling again enough for me to rebuild it all back better with more wisdom and introspection. and I'm here writing it and reading it at the same time, curiously optimistic and wondering where it will go.