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this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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Asklemmy
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Seriously like the most obvious fucking life hack.
Also, it's generally super weird how everyone tries really hard to convince you that you are wrong about it. Like I could take all of the collective time people have spent trying to give me unsolicited input on some other random topic, and it wouldn't even add up to a tenth of the time I've spent on the "why don't you want kids?" Conversation. I'm sorry but that's sus as fuck. Like some actual brain slug shit.
My theory is that (volontary) childless people are less predictable to others. If you only have to take care of yourself, you need less resources (read: money) for that. An employer that knows his employee has children to care for can be treated worse in terms of working conditions and salary/ wages, because the employer knows that this employee can't afford to quit the job, because of the responsibility for the child(ren).
If an emloyee is known to have no children, it makes him unpredictable. He could get up after a good yelling at the workplace, say "fuck it" and leave. He only has to take care for himself. Also, that employee can accumulate more money since it has not to be spent on the needs of children. That means, the employee has a bigger and longer lasting financial cushion.
Something similar applies when credits/ loans have to be paid. Having debt is a considered a "good" thing, since people are less prone to quit their jobs. On a personal level, the goal should be to become debt free as soon as possible. Not only it will result in financial freedom, it will also enhance your "fuck-it-ablilty".
Another theory for those convincing people is that they envy your lifestyle of tranquility and spontaneousness. These people have been bullied into having children by their peer groups, because "that is the thing to do", and "you owe grandchildren". There are so many parents out there who would be better off if they never had children, but their relatives had convinced them otherwise.
Another theory is that people with children want you to have some, too, because they have no other topics available for discussion.
As a parent who doesn't try to convince childless people to have children... fair point.
For some people, having children is their only life accomplishment, so they perceive other people's choices as an "attack" on their sense of identity, which makes it feel personal, to them.
I agree but not on the debt free part. Mortgage loan at 1,45%, savings rate at 2,4 %: I'll not try to get out of that debt sooner than planned, thank you very much :')
I have a kid. I love my kid. There's also a looooooooot more sacrifice involved than I was expecting.
Not so much the money, but time and effort. Today I wanted to leave the park and go the grocery store for ONE thing before dinner. Cue negotiations to leave the park. 10mons to walk 100 yards. Issues around refusing to use the toilet before we go (young kid and car rides). Not wanting to get out of the car at the store. I could go on. Everything is just a whole fucking ordeal. Pre kid I would have got in my car, gotten the item and come home. 15mins tops. This took 1.5hrs.
I love my kid. I'm glad we had a kid. But I do not see everyone being suited to being a parent. And no one should be forced or pressured to be one.
That's my personal opinion though.
As a parent, I couldn't give two shits if you don't have kids. Not gonna convince you. It's your story not mine.
You're also not going to convince me I made a poor decision.
Exactly, like if someone doesn't want kids I wouldn't want to be their child, let them not have them