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this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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chapotraphouse
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On paper there are some philosophical similarities but I ended up having a negative experience and impression of Buddhism after being a serious practitioner for almost 4 years and started training to be a priest. Imo it's ultimately very idealistic and I personally wouldn't be able to reconcile the two without discarding enough of the practice that it didn't resemble Buddhism much anymore.
But my experience with it was as an authentic imported organized religion. As part of training to be a priest I was taught secret mudras, mantras, and visualizations that I'm supposed to keep secret because they're considered dangerous for people who aren't ready, for example.
I also witnessed all of the non first year attendees perform a devotional practice of doing 1,000 full body prostrations a day (in a row with basically no breaks) for three days in a row. People's knees were bleeding through their robes. There was a lot of stuff like that which ultimately really turned me off from Buddhism. This was all Tendai Buddhism by the way.
The training was very much like boot camp and designed to break you down and mold you differently. Sometimes when I'm drunk I still feel like I need to return to it and will start reciting sutras and wanting to reach out to the temple, even though it was 14 years ago, then wonder wtf I was thinking the next morning. Luckily that almost never happens now.
I guess I'm writing this because most people's experiences with Buddhism in Western countries was very different than mine. Many people see it as a secular practice but that was not at all my experience.
thank you for sharing this, your experience with buddhism is much deeper than i could possibly have hoped for when i asked this question! i think this confirms what i already thought about organized religion, having been raised catholic. if i were to explore buddhism more fully, it would definitely be on my own, rather than in association with any particular sect or practicing group. thank you again
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That seems reasonable to me. Keep in mind my experience may not be representative. I will also say my experience as a lay temple member vs. the priesthood training were almost opposite and I was caught very off guard. From what I remember, Tendai is dying off in Japan. CIA-pedia says 2.8 million practitioners in Japan, 5.3 million for Zen, vs 22 million for Pure Land and 10 million for Nichiren. My point being that although Tendai is a significant sect that incorporates practices from the others, it's one small slice of Buddhist traditions. I know basically nothing about Theravada or Tibetan Buddhism.
It’s definitely a religion and most religious institutions are going to have some problematic aspects. Not that I know more than you, but I think there’s some value and hopefully it will adopt a more proletarian character. Many people just want something to put all their trust in to make them feel safe and promise to relieve their suffering. As Marxists we should maintain a critical attitude and investigate things for ourselves through practice (something which the dharma is hypothetically compatible with). Maybe it’s just me being a westoid, but I see Buddhism as a critical way to understand your own mind and experience.
I understand. I think there is value in some of the practices like mindfulness meditation, and some of the teachings. It's just for me those on their own aren't Buddhism anymore. For example, breath awareness meditation was the most basic meditation to develop the attention required to sustain the more advanced meditations in Tendai. But maybe other people have different experiences - I know Tendai incorporates a lot of esoteric practices, which were the main thing I struggled with accepting, and I am honestly not sure the extent those are prevalent in other traditions even within Mahayana. I know many of them are still part of Zen practice for the priesthood/monks but 90% of my experience and study was Tendai. I have no experience with Theravada traditions and only some with Tibetan, which I know is very esoteric.