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What's some really unpopular opinion you have?
(lemmings.world)
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this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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My unpopular opinion is that too many people give way, waaaaaayyy too much attention to "correct use of gender pronouns" and they should all just stfu.
I understand why that is a big deal for trans people, because they make their gender the defining aspect of their character. Something I consider a mistake, nobody's main defining characteristic should be their gender.
The vast majority of cishet people (if not all) make their gender the defining aspect of their character - so why should trans people be any different?
I already said it
But it already is, isn't it?
So if this...
...is what you really want you need to start with cis people and not transgender ones, correct?
Is it what?
Dunno about you, but nobody I deal with in RL ever implied something among the lines of "refer to me as ". There was only one case of an ex-boss of mine who always liked to "joke": "you can mistake my name, but never mistake my gender!", but he was the exception
Most likely because they'd never experienced someone referring to them by the wrong gender. You can be pretty sure that if someone started doing so, they'd have something to say about it.
Which is what the other commenter was trying to communicate to you. Gender is already a key component of most cis people's personality - the way they think about themselves, the framework they use to make choices, and the way they want people to relate to them - but it's not noticed as such, because it's "normal", so no-one comments on it and they don't have to act to assert it.
I worked with a guy who complained about the company allowing employees to put their preferred pronouns in their email signatures. He said that while he was an "ally to the LGBTQ community", he thought pronouns were a way to create further division.
So I started using she/her while referring to the guy in emails.
He didn't like it. And he didn't understand the irony of demanding that I stop. He also didn't understand the irony when HR told him that the easiest way to fix his issue was to declare his preferred pronouns.
Long story short, I still get to refer to her as she/her.
Ever met somebody with a preferred name? Maybe Mike instead of Michael?