I get it, been feeling a lot of the same feelings lately myself. the conclusion I've come to is that I do good things for me, not for others. I live by the old Wellstone mantra of "Everyone does better when everyone does better". In the end I'm just as selfish as anyone since I'm ultimately after my own satisfaction, but to have that, I need good, happy, safe, secure, loving people around me.

I used to be an optimist, I used to believe in the good of people. I don't anymore, people are mostly terrible, but the good ones are great and those connections are worth keeping and fighting for.