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this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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I remember when I was really, really young I hadn't figured out all the nuanced definitions of the word "bad". At some point (I think it was in Sunday school) I told an adult that I put cereal in the fridge once. They said that was bad. So then I was all like "fuck, I guess I'm going to hell"
Things were going great for me too. I was looking forward to heaven. I mean, sure, I'd lied, cheated, had bad thoughts, murdered a few people here and there, had wild sex with everyone, you know, the usual, but it was all good, still goin to heaven. But fuck me, I put the cereal in the refrigerator yesterday and now I'm doomed to spend eternity in hell. I was THIS close.