Like the digusting and culturally pointless little pig I am, I watch shit like this. I could give an explanation for why or justify it as some ethnographic study of early 21st century MilBro lit. but, really, i just like action sequences mixed with intrigue.

anyway, we all know this is some bottom of the barrel bullshit going in. i watched the first ep KNOWING it was going to be a turd. and it was somehow beneath my expectations.

forget the fantastical geopolitical world the production team paints as the context for their 100% unrealistic heroes to inhabit as they gruffly, but knowingly chide and affirm each other in their cargo pants, henleys, and unmarked ball caps. just the basic writing for dialogue is fucking torture, and not even the stupid politics or the exposition.

like, if you took a shot every time somebody calls somebody else "brother" you would be dead in 10 minutes. it feels completely shoehorned. like an exec fed the scrip into an LLM and prompted it to "say brother 20x more".

so the story is nonsense, the dialogue is torture, the action sequences are somehow not interesting despite gunfire and explosions. legit all it has are some appealing establishing shots in visually interesting locales. literally, there are acreensavers i would rather watch than this, and they probably cost like 0.05% to produce.

anyway, it sucks, lmao.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DOf0PJBiARl/?hl=en

Not sure if original post is rage-bait or just a really, really white person. https://x.com/eveebros94/status/1970890896188289183

I can literally hear it in his voice.

like if i started doing a blorp during a currently unused time slot, can i post it here?

if yes, could someone give me the eli5 on how to blorp

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Wednesday Super Slop Night, first up is Lamb (2021), an Icelandic thriller about a farmer couple in Iceland who discover a newborn lamb on their property, and decide to keep it, after which all manner of disaster starts to befell them. Could there be something evil about this adorable sheep? Who knows. Reviews compare it to Rosemary’s Baby (1968), and one Letterboxd contributor sums it up as “like if Lars von Trier made Stuart Little”. That sounds neat to me, so let’s check it out. This will be the first Icelandic movie ever shown on the ‘tube. It is the only feature film to date of director Valdimar Johannsson.

Second is a collection of five classic Looney Tunes cartoons, they being the entire filmography of the Tasmanian Devil, aka “Taz”, before he was revived in the 1990s and stamped his image on every kind of merchandise imaginable. They are Devil May Hare (1954), Bedevilled Rabbit (1957), Ducking the Devil (1957), Bill of Hare (1962), and Dr. Devil and Mr. Hare (1964). Four of them feature him facing off against Bugs Bunny, and the other (Ducking the Devil) features Daffy Duck. All five cartoons were directed by Robert McKinnon, and while he made over 100 Looney Tunes shorts, these are probably his best-known contributions to the series; he also created the Southern chicken Foghorn Leghorn.

Last is Game Night (2018), a comedy-thriller following a couple (Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams) who meet up with the guy’s brother for their weekly game night, only for the brother to be kidnapped and the couple thrown into a confusing world of intrigue and deception, as the feds have seemingly become involved in a vast conspiracy. Where does the game end, and reality begin? We’ll have to watch to find out. Good reviews for this. Director duo John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein also helmed Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023), which we previously watched.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Lamb: https://letterboxd.com/film/lamb-2021/
• Devil May Hare: https://letterboxd.com/film/devil-may-hare/
• Bedevilled Rabbit: https://letterboxd.com/film/bedevilled-rabbit/
• Ducking the Devil: https://letterboxd.com/film/ducking-the-devil/
• Bill of Hare: https://letterboxd.com/film/bill-of-hare/
• Dr. Devil and Mr. Hare: https://letterboxd.com/film/dr-devil-and-mr-hare/
• Game Night: https://letterboxd.com/film/game-night/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Lamb: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/801688
• Game Night: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/14137

CWs for Lamb:

• Death of dog.
• Cruelty to animals.
• Animal corpses.
• Blood and gore.
• Death of pet.
• Death of child.
• Destruction of child’s toy.
• Death of parent.
• Cheating.
• Kidnapping.
• Childbirth.
• Sex.
• Gun violence.
• Sad ending.

CWs for Taz Looney Tunes cartoons:

• Slapstick violence.
• Cruelty to animals.
• Carnism.
• Dead animals.
• “Man in dress” jokes.

CWs for Game Night:

• Gaslighting.
• Stalking.
• Someone is physically restrained.
• Someone’s mouth is covered.
• Shaving.
• Choking.
• Someone struggles to breathe.
• Unconsciousness.
• Stabbing.
• Kidnapping.
• Jump scares.
• Audio gore.
• Spitting.
• Copaganda.
• Screaming.
• Profanity.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Honking horns.
• Screeching tires.
• Plane crash.
• Car crash.
• Someone is hit by a car.
• Gun violence.
• Blood and gore.

Links to movies:

• Lamb: https://tankie.tube/w/jt9VaqyWu6evbsd4684TFj
• Devil May Hare: https://tankie.tube/w/dGyr2Ag92CT9vMhPKKzpMY
• Dedevilled Rabbit: https://tankie.tube/w/mpBtrvB9KkZfjuT3sYpAYP
• Ducking the Devil: https://tankie.tube/w/jyUXGvDMG6MsRjcEfqgke4
• Bill of Hare: https://tankie.tube/w/jmJ7tnBtgceqr5pJuYrzAv
• Dr. Devil and Mr. Hare: https://tankie.tube/w/kwwKKxKrwoN1anwRDgwUWy
• Game Night: https://tankie.tube/w/egRsV4R6yqZ1BrcEGtG8jr

.

Counterpoint, Ocampas are fictional, not real. That shit does not look good.

blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

※Use a VPN and make sure you have a Hexbear account!

This week we're watching "Ebony Wood", "The Pioneers", "Simon Bolivar", "The Gold Rush", "The End of the Indian People", and finally the series finale "Towards the 20th Century". The runtimes range from 24~30 minutes, so we're probably looking at roughly 3 hours of scheduled content.

Plot summary: There's not really much to say about the premise of Once Upon a Time... The Americas since it's just, y'know, the history of the continent of Abya Yala told through vignettes with the recurring cast of characters we all know and love from the previous three OUAT shows (Man, Space, and Life).

Content warnings and accessibility

Audio description: Not available.

Sign language: Not available.

Language of audio: English (5 episodes) Spanish (1 episode).

Captions: There are English hardsubs on the Spanish-language episode; the other episodes have no subtitles. Let's thank Redcuban1959 again for xyr work in creating these subtitles for us.

Content warnings:

These are content warnings for Albert Barillé's Once Upon a Time... in general:

• Death incl. murder
• Sexual assault
• Nudity
• Animal gore
• Disease
• Racist caricatures
• Religion presented as fact
• Eurocentrism
• Children getting serious diseases
• Vanishing Indian myth
• Problematic depictions of cops, slavery, and settler-colonialism
• Problematic depictions of race and class issues in general

So although Once Upon a Time... The Americas is a kids' show, you should still expect it to get pretty damn yeesh, just like its predecessors. Two weeks ago someone actually had to leave early because their "blood boiled" from the show's coverage of Columbus et al.

Plans for the Wednesday 11 PM CET slot going forward

The watch parties for Barillé cartoons are growing more and more couchy, and I'm honestly losing interest in it, too, so I'm thinking of taking an extended break from Once Upon a Time... after we finish The Americas. We'll probably come back to OUAT eventually, just after a break significantly longer than the last one we took.

I have a pretty big backlog of things I want to blorp, but for the time being I've got about 13 weeks of break material more or less at the ready. So these are the programming blocks for the next 13 weeks, not necessarily in order:

Deaf Culture Night 1

• Salt & Pepper (2024), the first ever feature film in Norwegian Sign Language, with my own subtitles. A group of Deaf friends get together for a dinner party for the first time after lockdown (COVID liberalism alert) when things start to fall apart.
• This is Norwegian Sign Language (2023), a documentary miniseries about Norwegian Sign Language, also with my own subtitles.

Deaf Culture Night 2

• Deafula (1975), the first ever feature film in American Sign Language. It has English-language spoken interpretation but I'm transcribing subtitles as well. A horror film about a man with an unquenchable thirst for blood, in a world where all people are Deaf.
• Tegnsatt episode 1 (1989), a Norwegian Sign Language "magazine for the Deaf", so it's basically like a glimpse into the Deaf community of Norway in the late 1980s.

Deaf Culture Night 3 Through Deaf Eyes (2007), a PBS documentary about American Sign Language and Deaf history.

Caucasian Animation Night

• The Magic Reedpipe (1998), a North Ossetian-Belarusian stop motion film based on Ossetian mythology.
• Abraskil's Adventures (2020), a 3D CGI short film based on Abkhazian mythology.

Esperanta Nokto 1: Via Nomo, Esperaĵo's 2023 fandub of Makoto Shinkai's famously gender-y body swap movie Your Name. (2016)

Esperanta Nokto 2~6: Skubi-Du! Kompanio Mistero, Esperaĵo's 2024- fandub of the first 20 episodes of Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated (2010-2013). This fandub is notable for using retrieval-based voice conversion (RVC), so most of the voices are actually done by the same person.

Fanime Fun Time

• Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls (2010-2012), probably the most (in)famous fanime show out there. It's a parody show.
• Tokyo Crystal Mew (2006?-2010?), believed to be the first ever fanime series, although the original uploads have been taken down. It's a fan-made sequel to Tokyo Mew Mew, which arguably makes it a bad idea to watch this one if we haven't seen the thing it's based on yet.

Whatever-The-Hell Wednesday 1: Tinpis Run (1991), a road trip comedy from Papua New Guinea, in Tok Pisin.

Whatever-The-Hell Wednesday 2: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (2004), a British miniseries parodying old, low-budget horror anthologies.

Lol the boycott worked way too well

Early Tuesday Movie Night: Cidade de Deus/City of God (2002) @ 1730 EDT/2130 UTC/2330 CET

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a good VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

We will be using Blorptube tonight: https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine It is still recommended to use a VPN for Peertube.

In lieu of Gomorrah (2008), I'm showing Cidade de Deus/City of God (2002) tonight. Romanzo Criminale series 2 will begin next week! Gomorrah is a slog to watch, good, but unflinchingly bleak in how it presents the mundanity of the violence the Camorra do in Naples and vicinity.

Cidade de Deus/City of God, on the other hand, is fun. Based on a true story and shot in and around Rio de Janeiro, it follows a couple of kids from the margins of the city as they chase their dreams. Rocket dreams of being a photographer. Zé Pequeno wants to build a drug empire.

• IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317248/
• Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/film/city-of-god/

CW links:

• IMDB Parental Guide https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317248/parentalguide/
• Doesthedogdie.com https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/15746
• Unconsentingmedia https://www.unconsentingmedia.org/items/446

CWs:

• Gun violence
• Stabbing
• Gore
• Children killed/dying
• Screaming
• Flashing lights
• Explicit substance use throughout
• Relatively non-graphic scene in which a woman isremovedd by a man.
• In another scene, a man is forced to strip at gunpoint and is insulted with homophobic slurs.
• Pedophilia mentioned
• Homophobic slurs
• Hate speech
• Nudity
• Sexual objectification
• Someone loses their virginity
• Male character ridiculed for crying
• Homelessness
• Sad ending
• Car crashes

tankie.tube link:

https://tankie.tube/w/a68xrJ8ypwiAHspFkumwP1

New taglist, let me know if you want to be added/removed.

@@@@This comes from above: it's strongly recommended to use a VPN for cytube. @@@@ There was a thread recently about vpns and a few you should explicitly avoid.

You can read more about Peertube and potential security concerns here: https://hexbear.net/post/3471120?scrollToComments=false

We will be using Blorptube tonight: https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine It is still recommended to use a vpn for peertube.

The visual cuisine for tonight is Invader Zim and Ghost in the Shell Standalone Complex.

Invader Zim is an anime about an incompetent alien being sent on a mission to Earth to conquer it. The episodes for season 1 are only ~11mins so we will watch more than 4.

Ghost in the Shell Standalone Complex follows Major, a cyborg counterintel agent, and her team in a futuristic cyberpunk world.

8 pm est

content warnings

Invader zim

https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/14176?index1=-1&index2=-1

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0235923/parentalguide/

• Cartoon violence
• Light nudity
• Most people are not portrayed in a positive manner
• Death
• Gaslighting
• Ableism
• A child is frequently neglected
• Stalking
• Death of animals
• Animal experimentation: Zim sometimes performs experiments on animals
• Bugs
• Snakes
• Grotesque imagery: the show is generally bizarre and odd; additionally an entire episode revolves around Zim stealing organs from school children
• A character is restrained
• A character is beaten up by a bully
• Body horror: an entire episode revolves around Zim stealing organs from school children
• Amputation
• A character in a commercial has a seizure
• A character struggles to breathe
• Teeth are damaged
• A character is unconscious
• Bone-breaking
• Torture
• A character falls down stairs
• Characters fall to their death
• Babies are mistakenly abducted by aliens
• A child dies but is revived
• Death of a non-human character
• A child's toy is destroyed
• Kidnapping
• Clowns
• Jump scares
• A character is possessed
• Ghosts
• A character is eaten
• Audio gore
• Misophonia
• Vomit
• A character soils themself
• Farting
• Spitting
• Electro therapy is used
• Needles & syringes
• Hospital scene
• mental institution scene
• PTSD
• Unstable reality
• Claustrophobic scene
• Body dysmorphia
• Screaming
• A baby cries
• Flashing lights & images
• Fat jokes
• Dib sometimes bullies classmates he thinks are paranormal
• Homelessness
• Some episodes have disturbing endings
• Car crashes
• Nuclear explosion
• Light blood
• Implied drowning
• There are one-frame images of GIR covered in blood in a few episodes
• A character is turned inside-out in a Halloween special
• A child has his eyes ripped out but it is only shown via shadows
• Light profanity

Ghost in the Shell Sac

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0346314/parentalguide/

https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/24011?index1=-1&index2=-1

• Guns & gun violence
• Blood
• A dog dies
• Animals are abused
• Mild nudity
• Porn is reflected on a character's glasses but it is blurred
• Torture
• Mild profanity
• Drugs & alcohol
• Flashing lights and images