Thank you for your snackrifice.

“I think it was 35… 30 questions. And let me tell you, you know, they always show you the first one: a giraffe, a tiger or a whale. ‘Which one is the whale?'”

He's done this enough times that he knows the first one is always this question? How many cognitive tests has he completed? Did he pass the others?

It's also insane that the bar is this low. You recognize animal shapes, here are the keys to the nuclear stockpile, have fun.

Had an old colleague who kept abbreviating 'follow up' as 'f/up.'

"Yeah we should be okay, I'll f/up on that later today."

"Hey are you able to f/up on this?"

"Hey, I f/uped with our boss today on our issue."

If anyone's arguing the other way... Where was the national guard? An angry mob attacked our highest ranking politicians at the nations capital and it was less defended than your average Walmart on Black Friday. In the end Pence had to call them in despite Trump watching the entire thing unfold on live TV.

It was an orchestrated attempted coup, full stop.

Do you take this man to be your husband? We've sent a six digit code to your phone, please repeat it for yes.

"If two men or two women can form a household based on an equal separation of responsibilities and reliance on one another, how am I gonna convince my wife God wants her to do the dishes while I drink beer and yell?"

What am I saving for? Retirement?

Ahahahhahahahah

Death comes in threes.

Charlie Munger, Henry Kissinger...

I'm very excited to see who our third strike is.

You end up with a worse pizza without waiting.

Unless you're high and eating a Totinos party pizza like a taco, then all bets are off.

Didn't similar shit get Microsoft hit with antitrust lawsuits?

"Angry piece of shit bastard continues to be an angry piece of shit bastard."

Step 1: Coding in Assembly