Nobody. The patient misheard.

No. They aren't saying that "age" sounds like 'h'. They're just close enough that any acoustic imperfections in the room (or the body of either person) could cause one to be misheard as the other.

"Safe to eat" doesn't make it appetizing.

I've never thought about it. I've never even seen the stuff before. The name turned me away from ever trying it, and this thread is only cementing that.

Related question: If someone wanted to see what all the hype behind the series is about, which game should they play first?

I typically like to start at the beginning, but the first Zelda game (I think for NES) couldn't hold my interest for 2 seconds or my attention for 2 minutes.

Nazis, I imagine.

I didn't even realize they were called "mini"blinds until I moved in to my current place and there was some kind of rule that mentioned them. I'd only heard them referred to as "blinds" my entire life up to that point. This implies the existence of larger blinds ~~which I've yet to see~~.

Edit: I've definitely seen them. Apparently my brain is underclocked today.

As is the Caribbean.

Grab 'em by the kernel.

Redditors tend to be more technically inclined than Twitter users

This used to be true, but Reddit has been mainstream for years now. Today's average Redditor is likely pretty similar to the average Twitter user.