As per title. I've been wondering about this. How can we help when someone managing a community/instance can't find help locally, for whatever reason? Something like an "help wanted" board. Even if it's for one month, three months, etc.

I've been an admin for a 8-9k+ users Discord server for years, but I love Lemmy so much I'd like to see if I can be somehow useful here. I don't think I'm power tripping at all, but have zero tolerance for harassment, racism or sexism, bigotry and honestly want to keep neocons and bigots/trolls out of Lemmy as long as it's humanly possible. Whenever in doubt, I generally abstain from using any moderation power and talk with other mods/users to find the best course of action.

The situation I imagined in the first paragraph did happen to me. Managing the server alone was draining my mental health, and I couldn't find anyone to help with all I had to do. Then someone wrote to me, we had lengthy discussions about the rules and philosophy of the server and we've been co-managing it together for years. Lemm.ee closing down made me think about "how to help where and when it's needed"?

I'm posting in this community in hope that other users may be wondering about it and may find any answer useful.

[Multiple edits, original post written quite late, judging from most replies, I failed to phrase correctly what I had in mind]

I know this one is as old as broadband internet, but it will never stop making me laugh. So just sharing again.

Even better if you can provide your own understanding of its meaning.

Mine would be :

"Nothing kills a man as much as being forced to represent a country" (and err considering the context, I must stress it has nothing to do with the current US shitshow), by a WW1 soldier, illustrator and writer named Jacques Vaché.

For me it just means being forced into representing a group (national, of course, but maybe also social, racial, sexual, professional, any kind of group) or defining one's identity only by reference to a group is to be avoided at all costs.

Note : Its not the same, imho, as engaging in a collective struggle or defense against a common oppression.

How about you?

... I realize sure, some things are good, some aren't, struggles are here, and I'm even not one of those having it the worst.

But I just wanted to write something down for all those of you that are younger : I can't, sadly, know when or how it ends, or even if it will at all in certain cases, but you know all this self-criticism, self-flagellation, constant lack of self-confidence?

Well, there may be a time when it all ends. Completely, totally, entirely, and just like that, you realize you're free from it, probably forever.

It doesn't make everything ok, doesn't heal everything and won't change anything to your denied need for justice and anger against subservience or all the evils people, or you, live through.

But this whole thing about self harming, physically or psychologically? THIS may end. It ended for me like 6 or 7 years ago, probably to never come back. Nothing particular happened, you know. Stuff just healed. It took time but it did happen in the end.

And I dearly wish it will for you all too.

Cheers and take care.

And by lifetime wage, I mean this

Edit : Keeping the post up for the message and the link, have been warned about the identity of the man in the picture. Ewwwwwwww.

Alright, so, something I've been talking about with my therapist a lot, but I thoughts folks out here could have interesting povs.

To sum it up, I'm constantly trying to act like a saint (figuratively, I'm an atheist). There's one exception to this, people holding power and making others miserable in any way.

But basically, you know, this whole mentality of banishing anger, jealousy, egoism, selfishness, greed, desire for power and authority and all that? That's me.

I don't mean I manage to do so constantly, but that's what I strive for.

One could think, and I did think, it was a desire for social praise. But really, when I get praised, which happen a lot, I don't care and that's more awkward that anything (like : woa dude, it's not the Oscars or something, chill out). And little by little, I started to think it didn't have much to do with being praised, that's just striving to live as I think it's better to live. To live a life I'll me content with when the grim reaper will come and all praises won't mean anything anymore.

My therapist thinks it's not really an issue as long as it doesn't cause myself pain (which it does because I'm deaf to my own needs 50% of the times).

But I don't see a satisfying way to live apart from that.

One potential misinterpretation I'd like to prevent. It's a very strong drive, but it doesn't make me blind. It really doesn't happen a lot but whenever I'm angry, I'm not feeling guilty. I know why I feel this, it's just that I didn't have any other way to manage a situation/feeling. I'll just strive to do better next time by trying to modify the situation so that anger will not be the most probable answer.

Do you find it weird? Anyone adopting this kind of behavior? Maybe everyone does. It may sound a bit megalomaniac, like hey I'm exceptional, but it really isn't what I mean. To my own eyes, I'm not a bad or a good person. I'm just trying to be what I want. If somebody tries to be someone different, it's all fine by me.

TL;DR : Is having high moral standards for one's self weird or toxic? Does my message actually sound megalomaniac?

You're a prison abolitionist. You're in a high stakes discussion where you have to answer seriously and be convincing.

Someone asks you : "yeah, but what are we to do with people breaking the law, then? What will you replace prisons with ?"

What will you answer?

Edit : Thanks a lot for your answer, they were very interesting and reflecting different ways to frame a world without prisons.

Except from one or two edgelord hot takes, of course.

Today, I'd like to recommend everyone who likes a deep and tragic story to take a look at A Story Beside.

As a disclaimer, I am not affiliated at all with the studio or promo. None of that. I don't even have a yt channel to promote.

I just happened to play this game 2 years ago and it still haunts me with both joy and sadness.

To make it clear how much I loved it : I played it on the high seas, finished it, knew I was never going to play it again (for me, that's the kind of story based/narrative game you only play once), and still bought it on Steam the day after and bought it for a few friends.

While the gameplay is simple and the gfx are nothing to write home about (rpg maker, my first game of the kind), the story is superb and highly emotional. It has a simple point and click interface (definitely NOT my type of games), choices with heavy consequences and mostly non genderlocked romance, IIRC.

But what cracked my heart the most us the VA. It's beautiful behind words, haunting and powerful. It made me understand how VA is important in a game. Some sentences from this game are still with me to this day and randomly pop in my thoughts.

So do yourself a favor and play this one of these days.. Just make sure you have someone you trust close enough, because it can be really heartbreaking sometimes. Or beautiful. Or happy. Depends on your perspective.

Edit : typo in the title of the post >.<

P. S. : If I had one criticism about this game, it would be that some choices are quite obscure. A little thing you said, did or forgot to do at one point can have cataclysmic consequences later on, and it can be frustrating because back then, you didn't even know you were making a choice. I started blind, got a heartbreaking story event, restarted from the beginning with a guide to avoid the.. err.. bad endings.