And their cousin Naga Saki.

Me:

Meanwhile computers in 2038: "The current year is 1901"

Game developers: "You know what, I'm gonna push kernel level anticheat even harder." 

I would make two separate views. 

CREATE VIEW NiceList AS
 SELECT * FROM Children
  WHERE behavior = 'nice' 
   AND parent.income > 40000; 
CREATE VIEW NaughtyList AS
 SELECT * FROM Children
  WHERE behavior = 'naughty'; 

"You don't want personalized ads? Ok, have some dick pills."

If you're going on a drug run, why would you risk cops by not wearing a seat belt?

When they say security, they mean their own financial security.

You pay me $10 to punch you in the face. I pay you $10 to kick me in the balls. We just increased our country's GDP by $20.

The boss wanted me to find savings, so I started unplugging servers.

Me to the tattoo artist: "show your work"

The only reason people go hungry is because of policy.