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Hello cool folks. I have a trans friend in California who might be facing unhoused-ness, and I want to be able to give her resources to help her. I used to know about stuff like the trans couch network from tumblr, but that was ages ago, and I live in the UK now so I only know UK based housing charities.

So: what housing organisations or resources exist in California, specifically the LA area? If any? I feel so out of touch on this side of the pond. I’ll do a Google search as well, but I don’t really trust Google to vet organisations like actual trans folks can.

Alternatively, any advice I can pass along to her would help. I’m trans but I’ve been lucky enough to have secure housing so far, so I feel out of my depth.

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 11 points 3 months ago

Yep this. I’ve been given the advice to step away from my baby when she’s crying if I’m overwhelmed and she’s in a safe place. That’s advice from basically every medical professional I’ve encountered during pregnancy and post partum. Because it is so, so important to not let your nerves get fried in an attempt to be a perfect parent, because letting your nerves get fried will lead to shit you’ll regret down the line. Be that shouting or checking out mentally or way worse stuff.

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 30 points 3 months ago

Ear plugs =/= can’t hear. Loops specifically are designed to allow you to hear but not have hearing damage.

My baby is colicky AF and will scream while we’re in the process of making her a bottle. Or while we’re burping her. Or when we have to pull the bottle away to wipe spit up. Or while we’re in the process of soothing her but not soothed yet.

I’m pretty patient (with children, not judgy parents though) but I’m not perfect. I can parent better and be more present while not massively overwhelmed by a noise designed by evolution to be horrible and intolerable.

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by okasen@slrpnk.net to c/parenting@lemmy.world

My baby is 6 weeks old. I’ve been planning to buy some loop earplugs “soon”. Well she just discovered a kind of cry that reverberates in my amygdala, so “soon” was NOT SOON ENOUGH.

Sigh. I’m gonna buy loops once my partner is awake. Yknow, so I can ask what colour he wants his in…

Eta for context! Loops and ear defenders specifically don’t block all noise, they just reduce the decibels of loud sounds. So using them means you can be more physically present for a baby with colic (and probably other fun ailments that happen later) longer before you need to step away from your nerves being fried. This is especially life-saving for neurodivergent parents, obviously, but I’d bet most parents get stressed and tetchy during certain cries.

Tl;dr still always reply to your baby when they cry! And it’s okay to use tools that make the experience gentler on yourself.

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submitted 4 months ago by okasen@slrpnk.net to c/parenting@lemmy.world

So I gave birth to my first (likely only) child about 10 days ago. First off, I can’t comprehend how much I love her. But more to the point, I’m having such big emotions about her and the world I brought her into.

I’m big into climate activism and uh, in general doing my damnedest to ensure there is a world for her to grow up into.

So it’s so weird looking at her. Thinking about the kind of tasks she has ahead of her should she go down the activist path. Wondering what kind of struggles she’s gonna face thanks to my generation. And also, I’m aware she’s her own person and will become herself, not mini-me. But in light of all of that, whenever I look at her, I just feel so much hope. It’s so irrational, this child’s highest achievement so far is drinking 85ml of formula in one go. But I look at her and feel like we will be okay.

It’s a stark contrast from the typical doom n gloom around child-creation you find in activist circles. Stuff about overpopulation and dooming your progeny.

Anyways… does anyone feel the same? Am i just a super sappy postpartum person?

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 9 points 4 months ago

If your freshly born newborn doesn’t poop because she’s constipated, well they work surprisingly like toothpaste tubes if you hold their knees to their chest.

I’m sorry for the image. I’ve earned my “grit your teeth and do what you gotta” merit badge at just a week and a half postpartum, so I’m… happy?

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 14 points 6 months ago

I can see the concern, as a trans and nonbinary person, about the phrasing of the headline. Casual readers will totally think the actual guidance says “if you fuck up a person’s pronouns, you go to jail” or whatever.

But not the guidance itself. We need more protections against intentional, malicious misgendering as verbal harassment. Which is usually less “she said— oops, they said—“ and more stuff like “(female coworker) put has pronouns in her signature? I thought she was a REAL WOMAN”

(The second being a real example from a friends work place. Funny thing is, friend is stealth trans and the coworker being misgendered is cis, but i digress)

But yeah all that aside I think the real context is misgendering when someone needs the bathroom, e.g. “you’re in the wrong bathroom” type comments. Where we really need stronger protections.

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 17 points 8 months ago

We’re not talking about hair colour though, this is obviously reducing a pic of some friends to “haha big booba small booba”. That’s kind of textbook objectification.

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 9 points 8 months ago

I have a few conditions that affect my spoon usage, like autism/ADHD and mild chronic fatigue. But I’m also pregnant, which means every day I put N+1 spoons into the “avoid nausea” drawer, and there’s a steadily increasing multiplier on any activity that means I have to walk places. Lately being vertical too long costs a bit o spoon.

All this to say that yesterday my husband sent me this comic and I immediately replied “that’s me”.

(A good percentage of his messages to me consist of Foxes in Love comics, and they are ALWAYS incredibly accurate)

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 13 points 8 months ago

Moving to a city with a tool library. For an annual £20 fee I can borrow any of a myriad of power tools. Currently using an orbital sander for some DIY, previously borrowed a hedge trimmer for the garden, it’s freaking great.

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 16 points 8 months ago

I’d be down but I require my own personal bucket of thumb drives

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 8 points 10 months ago

It’s not super obscure or anything, but I want Vocaloid to get more love. Especially non-Miku voices.

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 34 points 10 months ago

queerness intensifies

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submitted 11 months ago by okasen@slrpnk.net to c/solarpunk@slrpnk.net

Weird title, I know. But I've recently found out that I'm pregnant with my first child. It's an equal mix of anxiety, excitement, and anger at just how consumeristic having a goddamn baby is. So I'm curious how my fellow Solarpunks would handle the introduction of a new small mammal into their world.

My main concern revolves around Amazon and general gifting.

I live in the UK, but I'm from the US originally, and my family and most of my friends are back in the US. Their go-to for sending me anything is Amazon, because you can easily shop in the US and ship to my home in the UK. I've had mixed feelings about this for a long time, but now that my entire family is gonna want to Buy Something for Baby I'm especially cautious. I don't want to tell them not to buy anything (Well I do, but more on that later). But I absolutely do not want to receive anything from Amazon. Environmental, economical, political, and ethical concerns aside, I don't really trust items from Amazon to hold up like I'd want them to. Might not technically be an issue with baby clothes, since they'll be worn for a day at most, but anything else I come into possession of needs to be sturdy enough to be safe, and to be able to be reused/passed down/given to other parents in the community when no longer needed.

I found a website called LittleList that's a UK-based baby registry, which seems to allow people from anywhere to order anything to my door, and they even seem to have an emphasis on more eco friendly brands. My plan as a result is to tell people they can only order off of the LittleList registry, or they can just get a card for my family and/or baby. That said, I'll take advice for either how to get people to actually listen to this request, or for other, better requests to make.

My other concern with getting gifts (and even buying stuff myself) is I don't know what I'll actually need and use, and I'd hate to buy or receive useless stuff just to clutter my house. Also, I'm in Scotland, so the government will send us a box full of baby necessities when baby is born. I hope I can use this little fact to convince people that really, I don't need anything.

TL:DR; anyone have advice for how to keep people from inundating me and baby with cheap Amazon stuff?

I'm also wondering if there'd be interest in a solarpunk parenting community here, because god knows if I posted this on a generic parenting forum I'd get all kinds of people not getting it, and I know this won't be the last weird question I have.

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submitted 1 year ago by okasen@slrpnk.net to c/solarpunk@slrpnk.net

(NOTE: this is mainly hosted on the gemini protocol, a New to Me thing that I've really enjoyed. If you want to get into the small internet, check out https://gemini.circumlunar.space/

If you're already a geminaut(?) you can find this post here: gemini://okasen.smol.pub/dead-cities)

I wanted to share this post I wrote on my tiny blog because it inspired me while writing it, so I thought it might inspire others to read it. The summary is "All life is futile so live anyways"

Also, I wanted to share how nice the smol internet is. It's really refreshing to write a post and know that it'll only be seen if I choose to share it (like, here) or put it on a feed like Antenna. I don't need to worry about too-catchy titles or clickbait or dreaded SEO.

I barely even edited this, mostly because I wrote it in vim and that sounds like a nightmare. But I'd love to know y'all's thoughts.

(Also I wasn't sure if this REALLY fit into solarpunk as a broad community, but... well I'm putting it here anyways. That said if anyone else wants a solarpunk-adjacent-personal-blogs community, I can make one and moderate?)

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 20 points 1 year ago

grow something. Doesn't have to be via digging in the dirt (though that helps), even a houseplant or hydroponics setup or a jar of herbs on a windowsill can remind you that you're a part of the planet, not just a guest. And I think that mindset shift that comes with caring for greenery is of utmost importance.

This also scales: You can start out with a gardening kit or hydroponics kit, then you can maybe grow some herbs from seed on a windowsill, then one day you're hoisting up a grow light over some tomatoes in your bedroom and all the sudden you're growing food to feed yourself and your community. All very solarpunk in increasing intensity.

...the "growlight in the bedroom for tomato plants" might just have been a me thing though. (It didn't work so well)

[-] okasen@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 year ago

Not the OP so can't say why they're doing it, but in the UK at least it's really common practice for people who grow gardens because we'll frequently have "hosepipe bans" which means we can't hook our hoses up to the mains to water our gardens. So, you either have stored rainwater (like OP is doing) or... a very dry crispy garden.

I don't know how much it saves money wise, but ecologically using water from rain instead of the mains offsets the amount of water that needs to come out of treatment plants. After all, plants don't care about water treatment really. So they don't need the fancy drinkable tap water. They can have rainwater and that means more for the humans.

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(See also: My awesome gardening coveralls, which I made myself to be as Loud as possible. Also, one of my dogs)

I've recently bought a house and there's a LOT of work to be done in the back garden to get things ready for my purposes. Little by little I'm clearing away dead stuff and overgrown bushes... and oh god so much of it has thorns. but I'll persevere.

(But if anyone has a brand or type of garden glove they like for dealing with thorny plants, I'm all ears.)

I'm also curious what you all would do with all of the garden waste this generates? I have a bin I can put garden waste in, but before I start binning the clippings and such, I want to be sure they can't be used. I have started a compost pile that desperately needs more browns, but with regards to the greens it's getting quite full!

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submitted 1 year ago by okasen@slrpnk.net to c/offgrid@slrpnk.net

Found this on instagram from an account I follow (not religiously, so no guarantees on reliability). It's an app for designing your off grid homestead, and from the demos I saw on instagram it looks neat. Not too expensive to back at the lower tiers, all of which give you access to the app.

Obviously Kickstarter apps are 0% Guaranteed no matter what they say, but I thought this was worth sharing here.

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okasen

joined 1 year ago