This Soothing Balm from Bobbi Brown is the only thing I've found that helps with the itching, redness, and overall irritation I get sometimes on crease of the wings of the nose, which I was treating with corticoid cream (as per doctor advice) until I tried this.

Now I'm running low and I haven't been able to find it in Denmark.

I cannot even find it on their official website, and the listings I can see are all from the UK or the USA, and I've had all my purchases from both grabbed by customs with terrible consequences for my purse…

Anyone knows of an alternative I can find in Denmark or European Union?

Thank you 🌟

A dev friend wants to start taking steps away from Windows, starting with their old laptop.

The laptop has 4 GB ram, and an 8th gen i3 CPU, and they mostly will use it to program.

Some have recommended them Lubuntu. Would that be a good choice?

Thanks!

Edit: yeaaah. Definitely away from Windows, not Linux. Time for lunch.

Hi everyone!

I’ve had my Hassio Yellow for a while and I am really happy with it – and because feck Philips and their spy-app.

However, I haven’t set up remote access yet because it seems really daunting and I’m worried I’ll make a mess. I am not bad with tech, but I’m not a computer engineer – and reading some Hassio texts makes me feel like I should, and I get easily overwhelmed…

I found the TOR add-on and I was considering that – but it mentions VPN, which I use, and to which my Hassio is connected.

My questions are:

• Do I need to install the add-on if I use VPN?
• If not, how do I set up remote access with my VPN?
• Should I stop using VPN if I set up TOR remote access?

Thank you all in advance.

I’m looking for story-heavy and/or artsy PC games with the same playing style as This War of Mine – but which won’t throw me into a pit of emotional despair.

Horror, sci-fi, and fantasy preferred, but I’m open to other themes too.

Thanks in advance!

[Mention of past abuse, narcissist parent, gaslighting.]

I (F) am having a tough time with the fallout from a relationship with a man that ended two months ago, and I'd appreciate some advice from other people who've experienced something similar or have some words about how to break the cycle.

We started dating under the premise of being poly/ENM. Together, we created a genuinely safe space where I could process past relationship trauma. For the first time, I felt capable of opening up without pressure or feeling like some "poor hurt demi-ace woman" trophy to be won.

Then came the withdrawal. During my 2.5-week trip abroad, he became distant. When asked why, he said he wasn't sure and needed time. A week of silence later, as I was heading home by train, he sent a breakup text explaining he'd realised he wasn't poly and wanted monogamy + kids (hard no for me).

This revelation? From one conversation with his best friend. One. After months of thinking he was poly, he had one talk and completely switched tracks, and instead of discussing these feelings with me, he withdrew and panicked, convinced I'd jump him and act like nothing had changed. Despite my consistent respect for boundaries and careful approach to intimacy, he created a fantasy version of me that matched his fears rather than reality.

I'm seething at the cowardice, but also drowning in compassion. I feel his withdrawal is a self-preservation mechanism from childhood trauma with a narcissistic parent, and he's fighting hard to overcome a saviour syndrome that kept him in past relationships well past their expiration date.

But honestly, I believe I stumbled too. When we finally met to talk, I was so disappointed and emotionally overwhelmed I could barely put words together, and I told him our time together "hadn't been worth it" - pure hurt speaking and untrue, but what is done is done.

Then, unable to let go overnight, I suggested staying online friends. He agreed but needed "time to process". What followed was a week of more withdrawal from him, ending with him demanding explanations for my words and behaviour while dismissing my pain. 

When I sent an audio explaining my hurt and suggesting we take some time apart, he responded with a text gaslighting me once again, twisting everything into being about his feelings. I ended up blocking him - betraying my own values of communication and reconciliation.

Now I'm dating myself, doing many things I wanted to do with him. With a partner. He lives in an area I've always loved and frequented, and I refuse to make my world smaller for him, so I haven't stopped going. We've already crossed each other a couple of times. I smiled, because I truly don't hate him nor wish him harm, and he acted like I wasn't there. Still the urge to reach out, to help... it lingers and it sucks.

I catch myself constantly hoping for dialogue, wanting to listen, to support… and I know this isn't healthy - ffs I've even stayed in contact with my abuser thinking my presence might prevent him from hurting other women.

And I know I sound fucking self-righteous and saintlike, and yet I feel anything but.

How can I redirect this energy back to myself? How can I stop trying to fix others and focus on my own healing? I'd love to hear any tips from those who've broken this pattern.

Thanks all 🖤