(I probably will switch between transmasc enby and trans man, mainly transmasc though).

Anyway, I realized how happy I get at the thought of being mistaken for a man (I have since I was a child), wearing a binder, wearing men's clothes, etc.

I've had what I now know is gender dysphoria since I was quite young, so it's nice to know that I'm starting to feel comfortable with myself!

crosspostato da: https://thelemmy.club/post/35937089

Okay, I'm fully aware that people cannot decide for me if I'm cis or trans, but I definitely don't think this seems "cis" even if I may be in denial. After all, I feel like if I were just a woman, I'd feel like one all or most of the time and it wouldn't change.

In second or third grade, I really liked tomboy characters like Scout Finch. I had watched the movie based on the book, To Kill a Mockingbird. I identified as a tomboy and didn't want to wear dresses. However, not only this, but I wanted to hang out with only boys, not grow up to wear makeup, cut my hair short, do boys' sports, and be mistaken for a little boy. "Tomboy" was what I used because I didn't understand, but what I really remember wanting was to be a boy.

My favorite characters in media were usually men, such as Uncle Fester, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Truman from The Truman Show, etc.

At first, I thought what everyone else in my family did: I was a straight girl with fictional crushes on men. However, I started to imagine myself as them, try to fit my personality to be like them, and even imagine myself to have a penis. At twelve, it really felt like I had one.

I was also convinced for a part of my life as a child that I actually had a penis, just a really, really small one. I didn't want my boobs to grow either.

At thirteen, I started identifying as a trans guy called Mikey, only detransitioning due to having a transphobic girlfriend and the impact of our breakup affecting me too much.

Now, I'm questioning again. Some people see me as a feminine man. Others, a masculine woman. I am starting to see myself more as a feminine man.

Did anyone else go through anything similar as trans people? It might mean a lot about my identity to go through this, I think I might be trans.

it might not be, but my recent ex did that with others. she said she found out she was aromantic but while we were dating, didn’t have feelings for me and didn’t make jokes or flirt with me but she would with others.

i'm so happy! i'm listening to music!!!

crosspostato da: https://thelemmy.club/post/35079986

so, if you have read my other posts, i just broke up with sophie because we were moving too fast and didn't "click instantly" or hit it off, so she decided she would get to know me better and be my friend.

my friend eliana says she definitely does want to be my friend, and she waves to me and all that sometimes (i think she did today).

my mom, however, said based on her experience, sophie does not really want to be friends and wants to be left alone mainly and i should wait for her to make contact.

i understand if she wants to be left alone, since we just broke up, so i do exactly that.

however, i usually have to talk to her first because she usually only talks to her friends, sits closer to them, i've noticed, and initiates contact with them but not me. however, she will still include me in stuff, invite me to things she's doing, etc. which makes me think she might want to be friends or she's doing it just to be nice.

after all, she was closer to them than me and we didn't really KNOW each other, we just knew who each other was.

should i give up the whole "friend thing"? wait a while?

we just broke up, and i more or less feel like she didn't want to feel bad so she dated me. i'm highkey tired of people who only like me platonically getting with me because it's only them who try to date me, then they realize they don't like me or didn't like me all along and just played with me because they didn't want to feel bad.

i can't help but be upset and i do not wanna see my ex at all, but she's such a nice person :(

and i'm tired of never "clicking" with people because it's always their damn reason for being hesitant or breaking up with me, i never click with anyone because i'm so damn weird and different and they just feel so bad for me for that.

yes, i need someone to talk to. please be nice and don't be rude or anything like that, i'm not in the mood right now.

my girlfriend really doesn't like my friend of several years. she is constantly snippy with him and she and her friends, i've heard, talk behind his back and say stuff about how annoying he is.

i was treated the exact same way when i was bullied, so it really got me reminded of that and i got a little upset but thought i overreacted.

i'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, just wanted to share that. i hope i'm dating a nice person and not secretly a bully.

edit: we broke up.

i genuinely have no idea if i should study italian or french. on one hand, french is probably more useful, especially since i live in the u.s. and could communicate with people from french-speaking canada. french also seems to have more speakers. however, i also have an italian study book and it seems easier to get the hang of for me than french, especially since i can't yet differentiate what people are saying and the way things are spelled in french.

i genuinely love both languages but i don't know which one i should learn, even if i'm the only one who can decide this. i have a study book for italian and busuu as a language learning app but i don't have a french book yet. should i learn italian first and then go with french? learn italian and pick up bits of french along the way?

i am currently spacing out and i feel kinda down and low. what do you all do to get out of that?