roll call

@SeventyTwoTrillion@hexbear.net

@Mokey2@hexbear.net

@FumpyAer@hexbear.net

@odmroz@hexbear.net

@Ufot@hexbear.net

@RonPaulyShore@hexbear.net

@Rojo27@hexbear.net

@Grebgreb@hexbear.net

@CommunistBear@hexbear.net

@TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net

@LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net

@quarrk@hexbear.net

@vehicom@lemmygrad.ml

@Aradina@lemmy.ml

@Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net

@LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net

@LocalOaf@hexbear.net

@Wmill@hexbear.net

@Cammy@hexbear.net

@bazingabrain2@hexbear.net

@DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net

@orshelack@hexbear.net

@kittin@hexbear.net

@MoonElf@hexbear.net

@SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net

@anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net

@Mog_Pharou@hexbear.net

@Moss@hexbear.net

@Hohsia@hexbear.net

@NewOldGuard@hexbear.net

@Xenomorph@hexbear.net

If anybody else wants to be added to the roll call, just let me know

My only real W to report is that I completed lent alcohol free. I was doing it anyways but I used lent for an extra layer of accountability.

I can’t guarantee either way, but I did an interview for a seasonal, out-of-state position. I’m worried they’ll hold the fact that I’m not in-state against me but I would love to gtfo Ohio even for a month. In general, I still feel defeated about jobs because I’m just so…ignorable. Especially in this day and age where almost every industry is so absurdly oversaturated. Entry-level is a thing of the past and it shows.

Continuing good exercise and generally eating better. No progress made on personal projects but it’s Easter holidays so…

Wins

• cycling a lot
• continuing to rollerblade

To improve

• mostly nights eating well although I had two cheat nights
• I’ve sketched out some personal projects and I want to start taking g small steps towards actually doing them

Goals

• Rollerblading at least twice this week
• make some kind of project planner for my project goals and treat it like a kanban project to take small steps towards it
• make a meal plan to save money and eat better
• once again I am starting the 100 pushups challenge

I've been consistent on running again. I can do 2 miles right now and am hoping to get to 8 by the end of summer. I also got a new bike and have been riding to work, weather permitting. The longterm goal on that one is to train back up and do this 100 mile or so trail that I've always wanted to do, but was too busy to.

I can do 22 pullups straight

I worked out 6 days in a row!

And it looks like this is only time I'll be able to do that for a while because workplace drama has left us shortstaffed so I'll now be working 6 days a week for 50+ hours

It sucks so much because working out has been one of the things keeping me more or less afloat. It's an easy win that I can hang my hat on in light of all the other stuff going on in my life. And now that's getting taken away again, not unlike how it was earlier this year.

Reporting in, I could take a nap or do 15 minutes of cardio on my bike. Gonna do the 15 minutes now while it's cool rn

My week was turbo stressful but I tried my best. Today I did some yoga, cooked a healthy lentil stew and did some reading. My meditation habit fell off a bit so next week I want to resume meditating for 10 minutes on every weekday

i havent used any substance i have issues with since january! having a bit of a tough time in regards to mental health but i am proud of myself for not slipping back into old habits. trying to keep it up.

i think right now my goal is to consistently get outside more often. the weather is getting nicer so it’s a good excuse. i have chronic pain issues so it won’t be anything too crazy like a 10 mile hike but i went for two short walks in the past week and it was sort of meditative and calming in a way.

This week was a mixed bag

Dubs

• Got all my paperwork done to go back to school in the fall. My master's degree program has been totally self-funded and directed and I had to take a pause for a bit due to the layoff but we are back
• Cleaned the goblin cave that my apartment had become. I think I stop cleaning when I get super depressed.
• The wave of depression I have felt since the beginning of the seems to be clearing up. The gray fog around my heart and my mind seems less thick. Still moving through it, but certainly less fog overall
• Read Hellboy comics
• Did game development work
• Did all my gym and diet stuff

Major L's

• Did not to nearly as much game development that I should have done. I really need to find a balance between gaming for "fun" (games I'm already playing, comfort food gaming) and gaming for "research" (games I should have played or games that are important to a genre or other classics)
• On top of not game developing I also didn't do enough programming this week either
• Lots of time wasted on internet browsing and YouTube blackholes
• I lost a lot of the progress i was making talking to people and being social. I haven't really reached out to anyone at all in recent memory. Not even a "Hey so-and-so what's up?"

Plans for the week

• I have resolved myself to NOT buy any new games for the rest of the year. Just play though all the games i have on my "oh i should play that" list of games that already installed on my machine
• more job applications
• swap my keyboard for a different one cause this one sucks.
• Uninstall time wasting applications on my phone and computer. I try to justify a lot of podcasts and things with "oh but I'm learning though" but I realize they are just a way to take up space or make me not focus on what I'm doing.
• find some habits/behaviors to help recalibrate my focus on "deep work" to do my "flow" on my creative projects. I deserve to give myself my full attention and effort.

hey guys. it's been like a year since i posted in this mega, but i've returned to proudly state that I'm 3 weeks sober (save for a token sip of mead with some friends) today

Had a rough time lately. First had some car issues (I know) so I couldn't drive to the gym for a bit, then had some family issues which also kept me busy and emotionally drained. So I just continued to ride the gym break and rested up last week. Planning on going back to the gym this week again. Stocked up on my food for my diet regiment and feel ready.

Anyway, I have been reading more theory and watching nice films, with the occasional fun trash movie, so that's been nice!

Happy Passover and Easter and Resurrection Day to all, even the haters and losers!

Another day of early morning cardio, 15 minutes of going all out. In a month I wanna do 30 minutes daily so gonna pick a day in this week and go 20 minutes first just to see if I can. At the gym I just focus on lifting so getting it done now is prob for the best anyway proud of my 4 day streak in the past I'd push myself harder and then burn out and stop so hoping dogged persianst changes me

It was a week of recognizing all the ways I am self-inflicting misery on myself for no other reason than to maintain comfort, so I guess that realization is a win.

One example- I’m not sure if anyone else can relate, but I feel as though I’ve had multiple opportunities to “grow” thanks to the tools I have in this day and age (a few social media accounts with many followers who I do not interact with because I’m not comfortable with putting my self on the internet for op sec reasons or this very hexbear account I’ve had for nearly 5 years but haven’t initiated any actions that could build relationships). I’ve seen most of my irl friends find people online, whether that be friends made in discord or gaming groups to online dating apps, so maybe the future is finally here. Maybe part of my self-improvement is just a matter of a zillenial like me getting with the times and biting the bullet.

Another day of being a big beautiful biker got my 15 minutes of cardio in early, gonna nap apply to some jobs later and then gym at 1 pm. Got my protein ready for the next couple of days in beans and soy meat ready, makes eating easier since I intend to go hard this week in my workouts. Upper body today, tomorrow lower body and next day core before repeating. I can't control the job market but I can get way powerful and resilient at least

Starting my vape quit tonight after a set back. Not much really to add outside of I hope my dreams don't come back with a vengeance and give me the kind of nightmares that wake you up.

Still doing well on the less drinking coffee front. Down from 8 cups to 6 now and holding steady.