DON’T GIVE THOSE MORANS ANY IDEAS, YOU FOOLS!!!1!
I mean, I’m a hard atheist that would gladly classify religion as child abuse, thereby preventing any exposure until a person has become an adult. That alone would dramatically restrict religion to the mentally ill within only a generation or two.
But judging from Francis’ track record, there is still hope for the Catholic Church to still do some material good, if they elect the right pontiff.
Russia has probably sabotaged that election, too....
Make the Vatican great again!
I would love to see the Vatican guards in their awesome uniforms and shiny spears show MAGA what they're all about!!
And now Cardinal Robert Prevost first USAian to be elected pope - perhaps Trump delegated the job…?
Personally I'd like to see what a fully armed and operational Swiss Guard would do.
Kill a lot of Nazis, as they are wont to do.
That would be the happiest day of my life.
Too bad the Vatican they protect, then helped those Nazis escape to South America
Statistically it's most likely they dig holes and stay put, maybe repaint some 'barns' and blow up a bunch of bridges. No wait, that's what the Swiss Armed Forces would do. I have no clue what's statistically most like they would do.
The Vatican Is less tolerant and kind than the US police forces
The Vatican Is less sympathetic to their cause than the US police forces
FTFMe.
Any illusions I had a about a gram of tolerance and kindness in US police evaporated while I spent half a year watching them beat and instigate with protestors, among other things.
If you think qualified immunity from Uncle Sam is good, just wait till you see a guy hopped up on qualified immunity from God
RuPaul would be the best of popes.
edit: i was closer than i thought i would be
Several people have done good pope drag, and I would see any of them in the office: Catherine O'Hara, pre-rape Marilyn Manson, the dude from Francis Bacon's Study after Portrait of Pope Innocent X. But RuPaul would probably be the best in terms of policy.
Fac Vaticanem Magni Iterum
Nunti falsi sunt
Romanes eunt domus!
"People named Roman, they go to the house" ?
"It says 'Romans go home!'"
The world would be so much better if Trump became pope.
Edit: To clarify, that would of course mean he'd have to resign as US president.
Vance killed the last pope so...
Oooooh I see what you doin'
Y’know I think you’re actually right. It would get him out of power in the US.
Would it, tho?
Of course. He can't be both.
???? Is he even a candidate?
Just checked: this is real....
Soy fascism is what you get when you don't have a legion of traumatized soldier coming back for a world war.
you just ate the onion
In this case I get it. I really get it.
Yeah, we do live in the darkest timeline
Fun fact if he was baptized as a catholic he is eligible.
Yes, there is precedent. Some random Catholic who wasn't even a priest got selected after a conclave had been stuck in political deadlock for literal years. He couldn't actually take the job till he was ordained, which he did. He immediately instituted a bunch of rules including locking them away together with no luxuries until a decision was made to make sure that problem didn't happen again. (It happened again multiple times anyway.)
Psst, check out the comm name
Just call them rebels.
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
