I think you have to take a real sit down with your girlfriend and try to explain this with her. I know she just wants to commiserate with someone, but if it's damaging your mental health then it might be a better idea for her to find another political outlet.

I feel this deeply. Others have said it already, but the thing that's helped me the most is getting involved with the solution. Local community organizing, mutual aid groups, political candidates in your area, etc etc etc there are many options (and feel free to message me if you want more help finding them) and nothing felt ok until I could feel like I was doing something other than passively sitting around watching the country/world collapse.

Others have also said closing off news and social media. This is also a good step, but I would caution against doing so 100%. Maybe set aside a day or two a week where you get caught up for an hour or two then turn it off the rest of the time. It's still important to be aware, particularly as the suffering is becoming more and more local and ubiquitous, but it definitely becomes all consuming if done too much.

You sound like an empathetic person, and people like you are needed to help drive change. Fascism won't go away in it's own or with one more election cycle to vote it out. The upshot is most organizing and community strengthing efforts are just generally positive for mental health in their own right and may lead and may lead to new friendships and activities that you enjoy

Stop following news. I've blocked news and politics related stuff on Lemmy too.

Also speak to your girlfriend. I'm not on any mainstream social media. My wife loves watching war atrocities on her social media feed and gossip drama. It has taken years for her to accept I don't want to see that shit.

You're not alone. The shock of 2016, and seeing some of my friends celebrating the result, sent me into a spiral. Get to a therapist, because honestly your reaction is completely rational but you're going to need tools to stop it consuming you.

ever since Trump got elected in November, my mental health has been slipping.

Trump is a symptom. He (it?) is not the disease.

Try not to fixate too much on the dude, the issue is in how such a frustrated illiterate racist could ever be elected and, even more: how was he able to become a candidate to begin with? That's the real issue. Not that he is an asshole. There are plenty assholes, in the USA as well as in all other democracies around the world. The issue is when those illiterate assholes are being considered worthy leaders... by the electors in those democracies.

I know doomscrolling makes it worse.

It sure does. I'm not US and I don't doomscroll. Ever. There is nothing that is that urgent/important that I should stay in the loop real time. Heck, I even started reading print newspapers again, almost 20 years after I gave up on them so I'm able to take some more time to digest the news. And even there, I filter out most of what I consider mere noise and not real information.

You are struggling with the circle of concern. You're spending time worrying about things that concern you but that you can't change. You will feel better if you focus on things you can directly control or things you can influence.

So look more local. DO something positive in your community. It will help you feel grounded and effective.

I go to local protests, donate to the local food bank, etc. Even just showing up with intent feels positive. Heck, go to the library. Showing up helps their numbers and helps their funding.

I told my wife flat out to not talk to me about news or politics at all unless it was good news. It took a few weeks to get it to sink in, but she's stopped. I do keep up in small doses so I'm not completely shut off, but I get headlines a couple of times a week, not dozens daily. Set a boundary and either she respects it or you tell her it's time to move on.

I got involved with my hyper-local community. Like 3 blocks around my house. I walk my goats almost everyday and make sure to chat to all my neighbors. I tell and share good news with them; recipes, gardening, weather, Halloween plans, whatever. If they start in with doom shit, I just gently redirect them. "Yeah, I saw that but dude, I found a place down the street that has the best cookies." Again, it took a bit but they've started to get it. We don't have to focus on the shit. We can be aware of it but it doesn't have to be central to everything. One neighbor and I are going to start a block party movie night. I do dumb thing while walking too. Pick up trash, straighten other people's yard signs, move trash/recycling cans back to the yard side when empty. Little shit that just makes other peoples lives a tiny bit better. That stuff is contagious too.

Another thing that's helped is my core friend group. We were already a bunch of nerds, but now we have like 3 rpg games going. Not all of them are regular, but it's a way to tune out without shutting down. There is a spoken agreement that we keep real life shit out of our sessions and they're just for unwinding and living a fantasy for a bit.

Personally I've lost a lot of my identity as an American and as a human being as a result of the past 10 years. Donald Trump's presidency and COVID19 really changed who I am and how I think of the world. As a child I never would've imagined how bad the ignorance is, and how willfully people dig themselves into it. I've realized truth is merely an illusion.

What America was sold to me as a child; the greatest free nation to ever exist, the bastion of democracy and protector of the world turned out to be a complete lie. Turns out we were the perpetrators, the slavemasters, the financial dominators, and the war mongers the whole time. I look at my fellow citizens and I can't see the commonalities anymore. I don't know what to believe at this point. I'm not sure if there's much worth believing in.

Lately I've just been adrift, letting the motions wash over me. Drugs are a lousy blanket.

I'm going to lightly disagree with most of the comments in this post. The states (likely the world) is getting ready for a big transition. I don't think that's something that can (or should tbh) be ignored. As in, cutting yourself off from the news completely isn't a realistic way to get closer to that peace you're looking for. I think the way to keep the dread from consuming you is to know that you're doing your part in countering bad actors.

That doesn't mean you have to become a freedom fighter or a protest organizer. I like what the guy with the goats was talking about in connecting with his community. Or you can volunteer with an organization that brings food to the homeless or whatever. Maybe start a community garden (or edible forest). Something big or small that helps you feel you're making the world a better place even just in your own little piece of it, even if you limit to a day or two each week.

Then the bad news becomes a little easier to cope with. Because even though you're never going fix the world by yourself (that can only happen collectively), at least you know you're doing what you can to help. At least for me, that helps the noise quiet down enough to take the time to get lost in a book or something.

Yes. I feel exactly the same way and nothing I do has any effect on it.

Your girlfriend sounds like she wants to connect with you and doesn’t know how to except for something you mutually agree on. Maybe work with her to find something else to connect with each other on?

Oh I just added filters to everything to filter out anything with trump, musk, republican, maga, nazi, etc etc etc etc. after adding about 100 key words, I just dont see any of that shit anymore. Completely tuning it all out has done wonders for my mental health.

Feeling enraged and helpless all day every day is pointless, the only one that loses is you. So, I decided to tune all that noise out completely, and focus on things I can control- activities with family, house projects, hobbies, collections, friends, work.

I pretty much back to normal after months of desperation. I’m in a place now where seeing the occasional thing that slips through my filters doesn’t ruin my entire day because I’m not constantly at rock bottom anymore.

TLDR; stop following and worrying about things you cannot control. Tune that out and focus on the rest of your life!

Just an advice: tell your gf you really don't want to read it, that you need a break and that you mean it. Either she respects that or you need to find a new gf, preferably one who respects boundaries.

You're not alone OP, I'm in a similar boat. If I may make some suggestions, talk to your girlfriend again. Let her know how bad it is for you right now. Hopefully she listens and tries to support you in ways that helps.

Second, you should really consider a psychiatrist and therapy if you can afford it. (I'm going to assume you're in the US). The Open Path Collective is a low cost network of therapists. You pay a one time membership fee and then sessions range from $30 to a maximum of $70. And Psychology Today has a psychiatrist finder thing that has all sorts of filters to find a psychiatrist that's right for you, including low cost options. They can help you find a medication that's right for you.

I know people talk a lot of shit about antidepressants (and to an extent, I agree with a lot of the criticisms) but it's undeniable that they do help take the edge off. When you're on a good one, all it does is pluck the depression out of your brain, it's a very subtle feeling but it makes a world of difference.

Lastly, I would suggest that you try getting active in your community. Find an organization that aligns with your politics, or is doing work that you feel is important and just show up to a meeting/public event they're having. It's very likely they need the help and would take you in with open arms. There's a degree of fulfillment and relief that comes with being able to do good for those around you and actually seeing the results that medication can't provide. Food Not Bombs is a pretty ubiquitous organization that focuses on feeding the homeless. My local FNB also sets up a free store and we have a bicycle mechanic that does free maintenance for our neighbors. If cooking isn't your forte, there's always something else you could do to make a difference.

You have every reason to feel depressed right now OP. But I hope you're able to improve your situation and work towards healing. Take care

One option is to get involved with fairvote. I was in the US for the election and it felt good to be doing something about the underlying systemic issue that made this so much worse in the US.

Besides what others have said, this could be not necessarily related to Trump. Maybe it's something that will have manifested anyways even if Canada had conquered the US as its fourteenth province. I'd recommend a therapist if quieting things out doesn't work.

I remember waking up like the morning after election day in 2016 and was shocked why a competent woman lost against some bussinessman who was never in politics (this was way before I fully understood politics), I was rooting for Hillary to become the first woman president, I was already feeling very egalitarian at the time, and also because she's a Democrat. Also because I immigrated to the US, so I naturally root for the more pro-immigration candidate. So yea I heard the news that Hillary lost despite having more votes, thats around the time I learned about the electoral college and that felt like bullshit. Luckily, I had derivative citizenship at the time, so I didn't really think too deep.

But now this 2nd term is honestly terrifying. both the 2020 and 2024 election nights was just filled with dread, and now that fear has become a reality, doesn't feel remotely to the first term.

Anyways, now my brain is so scrambled like an egg. Idk wtf is life anymore. Kinda having an "identity crisis" about my nationality/citizenship because that thought of potentially being deported is constantly lingering on the back of my mind ever since 2024 the morning following election night after the results were announced. I mean if I lose my citizenship, I'm gonna look so silly for ever refering to myself as an "American". That's like saying you're part of the family, then your parents removes you from the will.

Oh yea I have no other citizenship. My previous country does no do dual citizenship, and its a dictatorship. Funny how I'm running from one dictatorship right into another. 🙃

Depression definitely does not mix well with political instability/autocratization.

Get off anything news related and tell your girlfriend to knock it off. My wife used to send things or bring it up in conversation, and I tell her I don't want to discuss any of this, because it pisses me off. It's extremely selfish of your girlfriend to continue to send things after you've expressed your desire to not receive it.

You have to keep telling yourself that truth and justice and love will win in the long run even though it appears they are losing at the moment. Over and over you have to convince yourself to have hope for the larger picture.

Some turn to religion and the promise of justice in the next life as that source of hope.

Others look at not just the rise of evil and willful ignorance in history, but it's ultimate fall every time too.

Are we in for a long dark time, or a short one? It is hard to tell. Look for the little signs of hope in the news rather than dwelling on the tragedies. They are there. It is the only way to stay sane and keep moving forward.

Check out the posts by P.Terry's burgers in Texas; the success Mamdani had in the NYC primary; the young folks who are still getting married; the judges who are even challenging the Supreme court; the people who are installing solar panels in spite of the royal proclamations; the people still trying to come to this country to work in our fields; the neighbors who put your trash can back in your yard after the wind blows it out in the street. There are way more good people doing good things than there are nasty selfish racist pigs. Look for and draw strength from the good. The evil will burn itself out.

I believe Trump's dementia will soon render him unable to hold his coalition of evil together and it will collapse. I hope it is replaced with something more positive and not an equivalent regime.

I can assure you you aren't alone in this.

It seems in fact that your girlfriend is right there with you, but like it was already said here I feel you need to communicate it to her in a way that she actually understands that you are trying to limit your news intake because of your mental well-being. Maybe advice her for you and her to try to do it together or something? Like that neither of you would read as much (political/economical) news so that she wouldn't even feel the need to try to alleviate her panic by sharing it with you, as I'm assuming that's the reason she's sharing her panic with you. Then maybe try to spread this "ideology" of sorts to your immediate surroundings, if all you hear there as well is just the doom and gloom of late-stage capitalism. Rather talk about good things, like the inherent beauty of ever-present life if all else fails.

Things that have helped me in the past with my personal mental health problems was to not push myself too hard to achieve beyond my current capabilities. If you feel worn down by everyday life too much maybe you can reduce the amount of physical activity at the moment? Don't get me wrong running AND exercising 3 to 5 times a week is amazing, especially for a retired person and something I have never been able to achieve, but I still think it's worth making adjustments as needed. But that's up to you to decide if you feel that's something you want to keep up.

Another thing could be community work. Current situation in the world seems hopeless on a grander scheme, but I have personally found much joy in volunteer community work, in my immediate community. I don't know where you are or what is available to you, but I suggest looking into something like that.

And of course, as you know already, stop doomscrolling. I removed my social media accounts some time ago, but still find myself occasionally mindlessly scrolling the feeds on youtube and lemmy. Which is still just doomscrolling. The short-form video is one of the worst – if not straight-up the worst – drug I have ever tried (and I've tried several) for ease of relapse. Maybe look into private DNS providers and internet content blockers if you haven't already to help you with avoiding the shit that's out there.

I'm guessing there will be many people in the comments who share your predicament and will have other ways of alleviating, here are some of mine. Good luck!

Congrats on retirement! How do you spend your extra time? Maybe a hobby or some volunteer work could help you pass some time and get your mind out of the spiral? I know for me, I enjoy my time off of work, but extended time outside of work without a plan generally is pretty tough. I end up not enjoying my time.

You are not alone. In fact, you sound just like me. I can't recall a time when being aware of what's going on has been so soul-crushing. It's so easy to feel powerless in the face of all of it. I'm barely holding on, but I'm not vanquished yet.

You need to do two things first and foremost. One is to stop the doomscrolling. Since you're retired, there's probably no work stuff you need to be aware of, so turn off notifications. Another, likely much more difficult, thing is to have a chat with your girlfriend and explain what her constant messaging is doing to you. If she continues, it's a sign she doesn't take your feelings seriously, and you should consider moving on.

Beyond that, you might want to search out opportunities in your community to help those who are the most vulnerable to what's happening. You can't change the world, but you can make a positive difference for someone.

I‘m mentally fine, but I’m worried - every single day. They only thing you can do is not to let it eat you whole.

Sport and touching grass is good start, but it’s not enough. Are you an American? Start planning how to get out of there. It will be getting worse, much worse. You can also think of stuff were you can do something to contribute helping others.

Curate your online presence. Get news from a mix of reputable news sources. Try to use your phone less. Do some journaling to sort your thoughts.

Personally I go more and more analogue recently. I write with a fountain pen in an old fashioned Leuchtturm journal. I bought an old canon camera und take pictures on film. I even bought a typewriter on a flea market for 5 bucks, but I haven’t used it yet.

The only reason I’m on Lemmy is I want to support a reddit alternative and I want to stay in touch with recent developments. And of course because of memes.

trauma bonding is a real thing and victims sometimes seek out content to continue traumatization.

your gf is likely seeking comfort through the trauma of current events. since you're both seeking the same thing (comfort) but through different methods you should take the initiative and invite her over to spend time together. set boundaries on what you will and will not talk about though. if she can't follow your needs then you might want to reconsider the relationship.

there's no reason to sacrifice your own mental health for someone who refuses to consider your emotional state.

You're right to feel this way, our country is off the rails and it's going to be bad for DECADES

No one is really interested in stopping it either. I mean we get a lot of dems wagging their fingers and saying 'naughty naughty' and sending out a donations request blast, but literally no-one is interested in stopping this decline

I suggest you do material things now to protect yourself. Make a plan for leaving the country because they are going to start disappearing people based on their social media posts before the end of the year

I hope you weren't looking to get cheered up and most of the people in this thread are fucking clueless idiots that have never had to deal with mass social strife int heir lives and their armchair 'Chin up, it'll get better' attitudes are exactly the fuck how we got here in the first place

You are most definitely not alone. I microdose magic mushrooms to keep my sanity and avoid TV news of any sort like the plague.

I was never heavy into social media, so staying off of the major commercial platforms has been easy for me, and it’s been a dream. I quit Xitter once Musk took over and while I still have Facebook and Instagram accounts, I’ve removed all of my data and never look at them.

Mate, you need to switch off from it.

Take it from someone older - the news is always bad, the world is always in trouble, whatever is happening today is supposedly always terrible and it can seemingly only get worse. A lot of it is actually total rubbish and nonsense and you need to tune it out. News and social media grab your attention by trying to be shocking and proactive - and they do it largely for money.

Put things in perspective a bit. We are living in the most technologically advanced time in human history. People are living longer and healthier. Cutting edge medicine is allowing more and more people to survive from cancer. Renewable energy is growing at record rates, and electric cars are booming - things we were told only 10 years ago wasn't going to happen and we'd all be doomed.

And when it comes to Trump - remember he has been president before. The world didn't end and it won't this time. Politicians are being politicians and there is fuck all you can do about it so tune it out.

When I was in my 20s it was all about how evil George W Bush was and how he was destroying America and so on. Trumps a shit but the older you get the more you'll realise how much a lot of the talk is hyperbole and exaggeration. After Bush came Obama. After Trump someone else will come and you can have your say in the mid term elections in a year and presidential elections in 3 years. In the meantime, forget about it and live you life.

Get away from social media, get away from political news and websites. It's just going to make you feel anxious about things you have no control over and a relentless negative message. The most you need do is vote when the next election comes around, and maybe donate to causes you believe in when you can afford it. Anything else has to come from within and if it's not there then is not worth wasting your time on it. Live your life and ignore the shitshow. Be a decent person and treat people with kindness and fairness. That is all we can expect of anyone.

The world is not as bad as social media and the news makes it out to be. You're in part experiencing catastrophe fatigue - the constant negative bombardment of news and opinion that tries to grab your attention by being dramatic and negative. So cut it out.

As for your girlfriend be honest with her and how what she is sharing is impacting you both negatively. If she can't stop then maybe it's time to move on.

There is so much more to life than worrying about an 80 year old fat orange man.