None of these contain caffeine. NONE. Why do you mock me so?
Most caffeine plants require tropical climates. A good alternative would be yaupon tea, which is made from a holly plant native to the southern united states. It was cultivated by the native americans in precolonial times.
It is going to be the way to get your caffeine fix once international sections mean the united states can no longer import coffee and tea.
Joke's on you, I'm not from the US. And that is going to make ALL the difference in the coming trade wars.
Lucky you!
Did you say Holy plant?
Edit: I gotta try me some of that
There are plenty of wild plant alternatives in my area in northern Ontario. Some even contain stimulants that are like caffeine. Unfortunately, if you make them too strong and concentrated, they can become poisonous.
I have no idea what the Apocalypse will be exactly, but I know that I will be grumpy.
It better not end until after my second double espresso or there will be hell to pay.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton