Like a decoy to a duck, the problems only start when the car attempts to mate with it

I would legitimately love a study on whether this makes drivers more or less likely to be angry, because anything other than complete neutrality would be hilarious.

the only way they’ll figure it out is if they honk at it, and it doesn’t respond convincingly.

Just needs a sound-activated arm showing the middle finger to pop out of the fake window.

The solution is bike lockers. It’s an important piece of public infrastructure that often gets overlooked.

Locks will only ever be a minor deterrent imo. The problem is that police in most places don't even try to go after bicycle thefts and the would be criminals know that.

If governments took bicycle theft as seriously as they did horse theft in the 19th century, then few criminals would even attempt to steal a bicycle if it had some basic protection like a cheap lock + a camera pointed at the bicycle rack.

On a personal level, get theft insurance on your bike. Costs me like 150 €/y for a 2000 € ebike, although some insurance companies do not cover street parking in some cities.

On a societal level, there are things law enforcement could do to make fencing less lucrative. Giving a shit about theft reports for one. For two, my city pays to get everyone's frame engraved with their national registration number, which will get my bike back to me if the cops find it and it makes the bike a bit less valuable because most people aren't looking to buy a clearly stolen bike.

Bike thieves move fast, and a lot of time they are in cars, it's not always some random guy on the street. I saw a brand new Lexus pull up to a bike at a red light in a fancy neighborhood, guy was actively in the road and parked blocking the lane, and stole the bike in literally 40seconds and was gone. No license plates. I called it in but I doubt they did anything about it. And I'll never risk my life for a bike lol.

I keep around a few beater bikes. If one gets stolen then oh well I'm out $75, which is less than 1 tank of gas.

There are angle grinder resistant u-locks which can last up to 5 min and waste several disks. They aren't cheap though and the thieves also could just cut through the rack.

https://thebestbikelock.com/security/angle-grinder-proof-bike-lock/

I used to live in center city Philadelphia. One day I was walking down the street and I noticed a big guy on the other side with big loose shorts on walk up to a bicycle that was chained up to a signpost. In one smooth motion he whipped a big pair of bolt cutters out of his shorts, snipped through the chain, hopped on the bike and rode off down a side street. Like, I didn't even have time to think about doing anything or even yelling. Plus it's Philly - he might have ripped my fucking eyeballs out (Phillystines have a thing about the phrase "I'll rip yer fucken eyeballs out" although you see surprisingly few eyeball-less people walking around here).

Bike cages are great, but the haters would rather spend on a 100-car parking lot than a 100-bike cage.

While it doesn't really help with the stolen part, it helps with the recovery: put a tracker on it.

Not gonna lie, I wouldn't know how to manage seeing a guy use a grinder on some bikes.

I wanted a folding bike for this purpose but it would only be good for going to work and back. I can't just walk around a mall or something carrying a folding bike :/

an SUV carries at least 8 people

Damn, they ban single-occupancy SUVs where you live? That's great! And not even single-occupancy...sounds like you can't even drive them unless you have all the seats full.

I've never seen one with more than 8 seats. Where do the rest of the passengers go?

Sounds pretty efficient. 7 bikes generally can only transport 7 people!

I'll settle for a network of inter-city paved uninterrupted car-free "bike highways" between all cities with > 100,000 people. Just a single asphalt lane with no breaks and no cars flying around.

Pretty sure that's basic-tier shit in many European countries, but it'd be such a huge deal here.

I'm pretty sure you don't understand what "at least" means.