"Everyone thinks they're the hero of their own story" - Handsome Jack

Generally the last episode of Tales from the Borderlands is fucking awesome when it comes to Handsome Jack quotes.

You must be so exhausted

These birds are Pissing me
off...

I'm the original    Starwalker

I bought FC3 without knowing what the game was because of this monologue:

Vaas: "Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is?

Insanity is doing the exact same fucking thing, over and over again expecting shit to change. That. Is. Crazy.

The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so, boom, I shot him. The thing is, he was right

And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks. Everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing... over and over and over and over again thinking: 'This time is gonna be different.' No, no, no please... 'This time is gonna be different.'

I'm sorry, I don't like... The way... you are looking at me,. Okay!? Do you have a fucking problem in your head, do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? Fuck you!

It's okay, man. I'm gonna chill, hermano. I'm gonna chill -

The thing is... Alright, the thing is I killed you once already. And it's not like I am fucking crazy. It's okay... It's like water under the bridge

Did I ever tell you the definition... of insanity?

This song is new to me, but i am honoured to be a part of it.

Go for the eyes Boo, go for the eyes!

"When fate closes a door, luck opens a window, and karma de-activates the alarm system!"

• Sam, in Poker Night at the Inventory 2

Edit: wrong character lol

You got boost power!

I can't belive I lost to this scuuuuummm!!!

Now it's Ryne time!

The dimensions..! The... Colleseum!

Welcome back! (bop bo bop bop bop bop bo bop)

This always stuck with me. From Braid. Particularly the bonded paragraphs. I added the whole section for completeness.

Tim is off on a search to rescue the Princess. She has been snatched by a horrible and evil monster. This happened because Tim made a mistake.

Not just one. He made many mistakes during the time they spent together, all those years ago. Memories of their relationship have become muddled, replaced wholesale, but one remains clear: the princess turning sharply away, her braid lashing at him with contempt.

He knows she tried to be forgiving, but who can just shrug away a guilty lie, a stab in the back? Such a mistake will change a relationship irreversibly, even if we have learned from the mistake and would never repeat it. The princess's eyes grew narrower. She became more distant.

Our world, with its rules of causality, has trained us to be miserly with forgiveness. By forgiving too readily, we can be badly hurt. But if we've learned from a mistake and become better for it, shouldn't we be rewarded for the learning, rather than punished for the mistake?

What if our world worked differently? Suppose we could tell her: 'I didn't mean what I just said,' and she would say: 'It's okay, I understand,' and she would not turn away, and life would really proceed as though we had never said that thing? We could remove the damage but still be wiser for the experience.

Tim and the Princess lounge in the castle garden, laughing together, giving names to the colorful birds. Their mistakes are hidden from each other, tucked away between the folds of time, safe.

"death will not save you from me"-diablo

Spoilers for the Valhalla DLC of God of War: Ragnarok:

What can I say to you? I remember how it felt to take that throne. All that it meant and all that it did not. A God of war. God of pain, of suffering, of destruction. The Norns said I chase redemption that I know I can never deserve. What does that make me? God of fools. A God of... Hope. "When all else is lost". You lost everything. And everyone. you became... There is no forgiving you. You chose... I chose. What now? Should I, the same man, should I sit? take? proclaim? lead? place myself in service? In service. Should I lose everything and everyone, there's to be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I have... hope. You are cruel and arrogant and selfish. But you are more than that. You have always been more than what others saw. You are more than that.

It hits much harder with the voice acting: https://youtu.be/N7grmI3Bn0k

Your dungeon is full of yoghurt

Don't have time to play with myself.

GET UP ON THE HYDRA'S BACK

Chingada madre!

(Jackie, Cyberpunk 2077. See you in major leagues, my dear friend)

"Dream... Not of what you are, but of what you want to be." -Lotus

I'll share some of my favourites from SMAC (1999), the undisputed, undefeated and overall best 4X game!

Pravin Lal:

• "As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master."

Sister Miriam:

• "The Morgans fear what may not be purchased, for a trader cannot comprehend a thing that is priceless."
• "Some would ask: 'how could a perfect God create a universe with so much that is evil?' They have missed a greater conundrum: why would a perfect God create a universe at all?"
• "The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesterday. But it was never the streets that were evil."

Chairman Yang:

• "Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the greater race are transcendent, and to embrace them is to achieve enlightenment."

Lady Deirdre:

• "Eternity lies ahead of us, and behind. Have you drunk your fill?"

"Beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart, he dreams himself your master."

From Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, which is full of banger quotes

You are not prepared! - WoW

WOAH! - Crash Bandicoot

Pilot's license? What for? - Bubsy

'That was an excellent vector!', 'can we expedite this process?' And 'have you checked your equations?' - Hubert from hot shots golf 3

Not exactly words of profound wisdom, but still…

“You look like a cut of fuckable meat. Are you?”

Adam Smasher, Cyberpunk 2077

There’s also another great quote from Discworld, where the conversation starts with “expect the unexpected”, but eventually concludes with “expect the expected”. Lots of funny philosophical arguing back and forth.

"We sense... something... something ancient... a sickly smell... a chilling wind.

My ancestors scream from within their chambers in my mind

but I cannot understand their words.

This feeling... a memory? It sickens us, and for the first time in our lives

for the first time in generations

We fear."

A man chooses, and slave obeys.