30

I really suck at mapping feelings to situations. I don’t know what causes this (I don’t know if the what or the why even matters), but sometimes it can fucking hit. I can go from feeling everything to feeling nothing, and the latter makes me believe I never truly felt the way I thought I did. Can anyone relate?

Maybe it’s as simple as boundaries? Maybe I discover dealbreakers that are hard to ignore? Maybe it’s because sometimes, I feel like I need more alone time than usual, and people always seem to take this personally. Which is why I force myself to hang around for way too long

I fear this is something that therapy can never fix because I am simply describing neurodivergence incarnate

top 8 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] almino@lemmy.eco.br 9 points 3 months ago

Or maybe current society requires people to love in an unnatural way. Monogamy isn't the rule in the wild, it is the exception. And when it happens, monogamy might be valid for a single mating season only. Or until the baby can survive on its own. Why humans should be different?

Maybe you just need to relax and welcome feelings that come as a wave. They come and go. Those feelings have highs and lows. And don't get too attached to those society rules and roles that won't hurt anybody if you don't follow.

This is why we're divergent. We diverge from this society model. In another society model, we wouldn't be divergent, we would be typical.

[-] Hohsia@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

Damn I think you may have hit at the root of the issue. I re-connected with someone recently who really understood me, until I hinted at the fact that I might not be down with a traditional monogamous relationship. I think they kinda took it personally because they seem to believe that some kind of monogamous relationship should be at the center of everything in life.

The older I get though, that type of life doesn’t really make sense to me, I don’t think this world is meant to be faced head-on by two people alone.

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

Look up the term Aroflux, you may find yourself resonating with it.

This isn’t something you need to “fix.” Your feelings are valid as is.

[-] Hohsia@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

That kinda tracks tbh

Strange though because a lot of it stems from my sense in a visual way. Simply put, something as simple as how it “looks” outside can make or break whether I feel “love” or not. I’m talking about something as basic as the weather here. Absolutely blows because otherwise I’m not saying how I truly feel (like shit) and using pleasant words as filler.

I suppose that’s what’s always been difficult with this stuff for me, the fact that I can never seem to identify with a particular label

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

The person I consider my partner isn’t a romantic or sexual partner in any way but I still love her, it just manifests differently in our dynamic.

Try and find someone who’s okay with only occasionally doing romantic shit would be my advice.

[-] lilypad@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

I can go from feeling everything to feeling nothing, and the latter makes me believe I never truly felt the way I thought I did. Can anyone relate?

Yup. Ive felt this a lot of times. Idk how to navigate it. I just ride the feelings as they come i guess. The hardest part is remembering i did feel something. But through journaling i found some respite from that

[-] Hohsia@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

😮‍💨 I hope to eventually get to a place where journaling provides some sort of solace. Instead though, when I write down feelings, I’m left ruminating on whether I actually did feel that way in the moment. It feels like I’m just reading words :(

this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
30 points (100.0% liked)

neurodiverse

1937 readers
1 users here now

What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned


Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS