15
Sorry im Canadian. I don’t know what you mean. 😅
There are times when apologies are more of a social lubricant or a way to signal you aren't angry or hostile. Quickly apologizing for not hearing your coworker and asking them what they need might speed things along and get them away from you faster. You don't need to feel any real sympathy for them. In this situation, an apology is more like a rote phrase said to ease into conversation and allow the other person a few seconds to move from "get their attention" mode back to "thing i need to say to them" mode.
For personal information, the purpose of an apology is just to slightly gentle the blow of not answering the question. Useful for maintaining a neutral relationship with coworkers. If the question is reasonable but you don't want to answer (how was your vacation? do you like a particular musician?), you might consider tacking on an apology. If the question is out of line or inappropriate in that environment (are you gay? do you have a good relationship with your parents? what's your body count? why won't you give me $100?) a lack of apology gives them less opportunity to press.
Anyway, that's where I'm at with it, but I'm not known for being socially adroit. A real apology is longer and comes with recognition of harm done, etc. You're so sorry you spilled that coffee on their lap. You'll watch where you're going from now on. Do they need a first aid kit or some towels? The kind of day to day apology for not hearing someone is just a brief acknowledgement of them as a human so you can both get on with things.
At work, I apologize all the time.
With real people I actually care about, I only apologize for specific things I've done wrong. That way they know I mean it.
Id never thought about it in this way before. I apologize all the time just to keep things moving quick and easy, but maybe I should learn to be a bit more discerning for the sake of trust? Definitely something to think about
I will fake apologize if it helps get me what I want. Maybe that makes me a narcissist or disingenuous but so fucking what. It's manipulation all the way down. Always has been. My "pride" is a small price to pay.
Yes.. Apologies aren't about fault for me. They are about recognising other's suffering, and possibly about acknowledging my contribution to that situation.
The apology isn't about you, it's about the other person, and showing you care about them.
It can be problematic when there's no established actual violation and you simply go along with whoever is doing the demanding...
People who demand apologies are seldom the type who actually deserve apologies. Discernment is quite necessary here, if you apologize unduly, you are setting a pattern that helps establish the response they expect even when they act unreasonably or uncivilly.
People who actually care about you and actually need the whole "showing them you care about them" are almost never the ones doing the demanding
This upsets me and I demand an apology.
this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2025
15 points (100.0% liked)
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