Can we just normalize 'come lay down somewhere and relax?' That would be great. Thanks.
No chairs. No standing. Nothing weird. Just lay there and chill together. That is a social life I can participate in.
This is the thing that is destroying the USA. I'm not even joking. We don't have the things you're talking about or places to do them for free. We have nowhere for kids to hang out, for people to exist for free, public access entertainment/bath houses/whatever the fuck.
We have nothing. Only what you can pay for and only extremely regimented.
We have lost even the idea of community because it has been made impossible in this country.
No more "third place".
You've got home, you've got work (or school)... And that's it.
Some people have church.
I've got a church that i use as a place to play music and socialize (no one has ever asked about my beliefs but i have a local reputation as Weird (fair amount of musicians in the congregation though so got some Weird there), they're just glad to have the music and I like free coffee, seeing friends, and getting to play) and i have a couple parks i busk at, and we've got a gorgeous farm out in the boonies on the other side of the next town over (so you know, just outside of battery range on my bike to get there and back) but like this is stuff i only know about because i've lived here all my damn life and make compromises like going to a (thank gods liberal) church
Uhhh, don't we have city / county / state / national parks?
Can children go to these places alone? Can children do anything alone, actually? What if you don't have a car?
I mean a society where you can easily walk to multiple different examples of several kinds of third space. Not where if you drive 30 min, you can get out into nature.
You mean, most of Europe?
Parks? Walking/hiking trails? Just wander off into national forest?
The US has turned into Ferenginar so gradually I didn’t even notice!
I miss having friends/family to cuddle with. My wife is fine, more than. But why can't buddies just cuddle? Also, my oldest friend and I will platonically kiss. Our wives find it adorable, but I've been kissing this guy since preschool; why does it have to be seen as special?
Uh, that's nice for you but I personally have 0 interest in cuddling or kissing buddies and never have. Hanging out is just fine. I wouldn't be surprised if you're rather in the minority here.
I have a friend that I do that with, it's pretty nice. Just get cozy like a childhood sleepover and put on some music or nonsense on the tv while we chill and chat.
Man, I remember every weekend I'd have two or three friends all weekend, we'd all sleep on my bed. I miss those days. My bones hurt.
Third place
Calm down there, Richard Stallman.
Ngl those are the catch-ups I enjoy most.
Those are true friends.
running errands with a friend truly is the best way.
oh yeah spend 250 dollars instead of 85
Costco, is that you?
I think the person is not implying that by going with the person doing an errand you also have to spend money. You are going as a companion.
Only one of those is an errand though.
Yeah, tacos will never be considered an errand.
Says you
When you can no longer afford to buy things, including furniture, at stores, thrifting as a habit become an errand. Not one that takes long enough to meet up with a friend, I agree, but it is a slightly different headspace than going shopping.
I support thrifting 100% though. Buy stuff from real people, stuff that’s good quality that somebody no longer needs, and avoid buying newly manufactured disposable junk.
I've been thrifting for decades and realized a while ago that I have a totally different idea of what things cost than the average person. I went with a friend to the mall once and watched them drop $100+ on ONE sweater like it was totally normal.
Meanwhile I'm at the thrift store going, "They want 25 bucks for these jeans!? Who are they kidding!"
I love this type of bonding with friends and used to do it a lot. The problem is you have to live or be kinda close by, but I guess that is true for any less formal meetup. I guess the furthest away you are the more "a thing" the meetup must be and the duration longer.
In any case I love do errands with friends and even go help out with something. Even though I don't have time and energy for my stuff I feel like energy for hanging out with friends doing errands como from a different bucket.
It's because it feels great doing something while also procrastinating your own stuff to do
That is so true. It is like a silver lining. I may be procrastinating but I am helping and spending some quality time with a friend.
It's also far easier to do if you live in a walkable, bikeable city. I used to live somewhere where even the nearest grocery store was a 10 minute drive away, and I barely ever saw anyone. Now I'm a 5-10 minute bike ride from pretty much everything I need and I spend so much more time with friends.
That is true. I also was luck enough to have a friend that didn't mind at all to pick me up out of his way even if just as a companion to do errands and stuff. Otherwise the distance would be a problem.
I feel like doing stuff like that would make our bond stronger instead of only sitting in a coffee bar or a restaurant.
I have suggested a firepit by the beach but it doesn't seem to get people interested. Despite costing almost nothing beyond maybe a few marshmallows.
Some of us don't have beaches. And if you place a fire in a park...
What is wrong with a fire in the park? That would have been another suggestion. Or just go somewhere out of town for it.
Let's create a community for that. An app like Tinder, but instead of Netflix and chill, there's just socializing and having a good time.
"Friends without benefits"
Somewhere inbetween. I had a friend who was a cook and I didn't know shit about cooking. He would come over, then we would go to the supermarket and smell the different produce, and look at the meats and come up with something to cook. We would buy it, go back and chef it up. Learned a whole lot about cooking and flavor profiles etc. Some of the best times I've ever had.
I'm a groomsman in his wedding in November. For the bachelor party we are renting a cabin with some people. We are going to dream up a menu, go shopping, and chef it up again. I can't wait.
A great idea, killed by coordination overhead.
It works if you're like 22 and have few responsibilities and much free time.
If you're 44, fuck that noise, I got a routine to keep or everything will fall apart.
Oh cool so that's normal...
Can vouch @ 44 things fell apart.
Yeah, I think it works that way for most people. I'm an introvert and I could deal with it, probably even enjoy it while it's going on and swear that we would do it again. And then schedule it and dread it the day before going I just don't have the energy for this.
I think it first, life gets in the way and then like an atrophied muscle. We lose the social stamina.
With something clear-ish to focus on I will not only more easily plan my day & be there, but also be able to enjoy the time together, even retain more memories.
I do feel bad for making people paying hundreds to come visit, not to eat at least some local restaurants.
But for more frequent hangouts it would be nice to hangout informally.
My dream woman
I wish I had the time to get all my own errands done, let alone helping a friend with theirs.
Maybe it's just me, but I need shit in my calendar at least a couple of weeks prior if I'm gonna be able to make it, and the only kinds of chores people really plan that far ahead is going to be moving stuff (which I funnily do actually end up doing a lot with friends)
100% let's just put a meal in the calendar, doesn't have to be expensive and I'll actually be able to focus on the conversation rather than some task.
Post memes here.
A meme is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads by means of imitation from person to person within a culture and often carries symbolic meaning representing a particular phenomenon or theme.
An Internet meme or meme, is a cultural item that is spread via the Internet, often through social media platforms. The name is by the concept of memes proposed by Richard Dawkins in 1972. Internet memes can take various forms, such as images, videos, GIFs, and various other viral sensations.
Laittakaa meemejä tänne.
