323
Think you're screwed, hun (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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[-] 0x01@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 day ago

If an apple a day keeps em away, what happens if you eat 80% of an apple, maybe the real problem is that most of us don't eat the core and stem, doctors have a very refined apple consumption detection organ that can detect even slight deviations!

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

What happens if you eat one half each of two separate apples?

[-] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago

half a doctor for two days

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Vertically or horrifically?

edit: I meant "horizontally," but I like this way, too.

[-] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

Does the apple juice left on your finger count as part of an apple?

I ate an apple once. Then i was hit by truck. The medics did their best...

[-] railway692@piefed.zip 5 points 1 day ago

When the doctor accidentally eats an apple:

[-] individual@toast.ooo 6 points 1 day ago

she should've eaten tylonol instead

[-] don@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

Don’t take apples! Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen. But with apples, don’t take it! Don’t take it! And if you can’t live, if your baby is so bad you have to take one because there’s no alternative to that, sadly. First question, what can ya take instead, it’s actually there’s not an alternative to that. And as you know, other of the, other of the apples are absolutely proven bad. I mean they’ve been proven bad with the Galaxy Crisps and the Granny Smiths and others, right? And they’ve been proven bad.

[-] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago

Nope, gotta shove it back up in there. Rules are rules.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Fortunately apples have no effect on midwives

this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2025
323 points (97.6% liked)

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