98
Fuckin' beats me (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/memes@sopuli.xyz
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[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Adolph Hitler: 39 known attempts
Charles de Gaulle: At least 31 attempts
Fidel Castro: Fabián Escalante, former chief of Cuba's intelligence, stated that there had been 634 assassination schemes or attempts.
Josip Broz "Tito": About 22 attempts

So, Fidel Castro by far... according to one source. That's a mess and a half.

[-] BreadOven@lemmy.world 10 points 6 hours ago

Without a doubt, Castro. Not even close.

[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 8 hours ago

Castro. US government really just kept flinging shit at the wall, praying something would stick

[-] notabot@piefed.social 4 points 6 hours ago

When I look at some of the ideas they came up with, I have to assume it was actually just a cunning plan for America to keep their more deranged inventors, schemers and general crazy folk occupied and out of trouble until and unless Uncle Sam needed their unique thought processes.

It was all managed through a proper chain of command so that they knew the plan and could inform Castro and he could avoid it. After all, they didn't want the plans to succeed, or they'd need a different way to keep those people occupied.

For the more serious folks, and those who know about this, this post is a bit of whimsy, it's not serious.

[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 hours ago

CIA money printer go brrrr

[-] twykomantis@lemmy.ml 65 points 10 hours ago

I don't know if he survived more attempts than Castro, but you have to admire Tito's responds after Stalin tried to have him killed 5 times:

Stalin. Stop sending assassins to murder me. We have already caught five, one with a bomb, another with a rifle. [...] If this doesn't stop, I will send one man to Moscow and there will be no need to send another.

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 6 hours ago

Hitler is 39 attempts known, according to Wikipedia's list. There may have been unknown ones.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 31 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Castro? CIA tried a comical number of times and ways to kill him. All failures.

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 48 points 11 hours ago

Castro, and it's not even close.

[-] BreadOven@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Haha. I said pretty much the same thing before I saw your comment. Agreed.

[-] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 16 points 10 hours ago

It's gotta be Castro. So, so, so many attempts.

[-] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 11 hours ago

My guess is Castro. I know the US failed to assassinate him on multiple occasions. I have no idea about the others.

[-] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

'Bout 634 attempts.

Hitler had at least 42 documented, probably a few dozen more. But not as many.

[-] stankmut@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

I wonder how accurate that number is. From what I can find, the source was Castro's head of intelligence. He'd certainly know things, but he is a single source. His list includes things that arent assassination attempts, like assassination schemes (plans that haven't been/won't be put into action) and attempts to assassinate his character. Is a plot to make his beard fall out an assassination attempt?

The scuba suit with poison fungus is one that seems pretty popular, people love to bring it up. But it wasn't an actual attempt, it never made it out of the planning phase.

Wait, the BBC article I just found about his book Executive Action: 634 Ways to Kill Fidel Castro says, "However most of the ideas were never put into practice, former bodyguard Fabian Escalante said." The source of the 634 number isn't even claiming that there were 634 assassination attempts.

[-] Bonus@sopuli.xyz 8 points 9 hours ago

Can't help but imagine Peter Sellers as a bungling but lovable assassin now

[-] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 9 hours ago

I don’t know if anyone can make me laugh as much as that man has

[-] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 10 hours ago

I knew it was many, but damn...

[-] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Reagan did the most (197), of course.

Richard Nixon was close, about 184 attempts to kill Castro.

One of my favourite ones is the explosive cigar one and a Eumycota fungi-infected scuba-diving suit along with a booby-trapped conch placed on the sea bottom.

Like Gargamel trying to catch the smurfs. They could make a childrens cartoon

[-] perishthethought@piefed.social 3 points 8 hours ago

Ya know, for kids!

this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
98 points (97.1% liked)

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