I'm uncircumcised and I'm thankful every fucking day. Don't do it to them. If you're being bullied for your penis, there's other problems at hand there. And women who won't sleep with you over this aren't worth sleeping with anyway.

Adding my No to the pile, but also, heads up - we're in the Midwest, kept out sons intact, but we had to say no something like six times for each of them. If you decide you don't want them cut (which is my advice), make sure you're both holding firm on that!

British penis owner here. Cirumcision is rare in this country and as far as I know the rest of the world. I imagine most British people would find it strange, the inverse of your friend's experience. My instinct is to say don't perform an unnecessary medical procedure on your child and let them decide as an adult. You can't put a foreskin back on. But I sympathise with the cultural aspect of it you're having to contend with in the USA.

Side note: I once considered getting circumcised. I was in a BDSM relationship. My penis was consensually "hers" and she liked it after being with a Jewish guy. If it had become a long term relationship I might have done it.

Don't mutilate your child. Just remember to teach them to retract the foreskin and wash under it, by the time they are 10, it should be unfused from the glans.

No. It's child mutilation. Just. No.

I'm a chick, responding because you mentioned some women are grossed out by intact dicks.

Every penis is different in its own weird way so whether there's foreskin or not is just an extra thing. Size/shape/foreskin/existence doesn't affect how I think about the person.

Any person who thinks men ought to be mutilated to be attractive is lacking in empathy and judgment, and my entire friend group thinks the same thing.

If society jumped off a bridge, would you also?

Just don't circumcize your kid. I am and didn't do it for my kid, and even if he has issues, it's his choice to make the body mod if it's wanted. Kids will always have some kind of issue or get made fun of for something, no reason to snip the tip of his penis off unless it's needed imo.

A few counterpoints to the circumcision pros that you mentioned:

• Circumcision rates are dropping across America. In some areas they ared dropping faster than others, but from what I recall the get are basically dropping everywhere to some degree. So I expect bullying about it is on the decline as it becomes less common.

• Also, the simple fact is that bullies will find any reason to be shitheads. So if it's not circumcision it'll be something else.

• Any straight women who are grossed out by a natural penis are idiots, and your kid will be dodging an asshole bullet if they do reject him over that.

• Better to let him decide if he wants to get it cut later or leave it uncut than to take away his free agency.

I have never ever wished that. But I'm also not American or Jewish so I wasn't bullied for being intact.

Considering that so many people are circumsized, and I have yet to meet anyone who says they are terribly unhappy about it, I'll start off by saying that I really don't think it matters either way.

However, I am uncircumsized, and American. I literally don't think about it at all. I was bullied a lot in school - but never about my foreskin. I've slept with a lot of women - none of them have ever cared (the foreskin stretches away when you get hard, you can't even see it).

Focus on giving your kid material resources and emotional support, and on setting a good example of being a happy, functional human. This just doesn't matter

Love my penis, love my foreskin. All good.

Uncircumcised and have my tonsils. My mother was adamant about having every piece of her children coming home with her. I was on the swim team in high school, and no one teased me about my dick. Plenty of other things, but not that.

I'm not a parent but I think in general unnecessary cosmetic surgery should be left up to the individual especially when it is related to genitals. I understand wanting to help them conform to norms to try to give them an easier life and there are some surgeries I think make sense like a cleft palate or an infant with burns, but if it's not necessary you're taking away their bodily autonomy and I think that's a very important line morally. You need to determine if you think it's necessary or unnecessary, and if the discomfort of a possible later in life surgery pushed it past the moral boundary or not.

Nope, never.

I live in the UK, I’m in my 40’s and I’ve only ever known a single person who needed to be circumcised for medical reasons.

Beyond medical reasons, which are honestly pretty rare in reality, there’s no need.

I’ve literally never heard an uncircumcised person express a desire to be circumcised.

Uncircumcised and never really thought about getting it done.

Also I will say that I met this girl about 30 years ago that did this thing with her tongue that made me reaaallllly happy to have my foreskin. I've since shown this 'action' to every partner I've had 😁.

You could also consider chin implants to give your son a strong chin. A strong chin is definitely going to have a positive impact in his life later on, and recovery will be faster and less painful as a child. Another thing to consider would be earlobe separation if his earlobes are joined. This will make sure he looks more normal and won't be made fun of in school. If you are asian you should definitely also consider eyelid surgery since it can reduce problems with vision and lead to healthier eyes

Or you could avoid cosmetic procedures on non-consenting children entirely.

I'm 42 and uncircumcised, born and raised in America. My entire life the total sum of what it's amounted to from locker rooms to relationships is pretty close to "huh, ok then". I can't promise it will be the same for your son but it's been a total non-issue in my life.

I'm circumcised, but I can give the answer to if I wish I were uncircumcised. I would only want to choose circumcision if I looked into it and determined it to be good.

There's someone whose name I forgot who called this out as being barbarism at Harvard or Columbia before getting kicked out for basically giving the truth on circumcision.

I’ve never even considered it, nor has it ever bothered me or my partners in any way, because it’s the norm here.

However, if I lived in the US, I’d probably do it for the reasons you mentioned - it’s the cultural norm there, and not doing it might lead to bullying or awkward reactions. The main issue, of course, is making that choice for him rather than letting him decide later. But yeah, if you’re going to do it, better sooner than later.

As someone who's circumcised, I think it's a practice we should leave behind. Buddy getting bullied was more about victimization than circumcision. Likewise any future partner that has that as a deal breaker either way is a bullet dodged.

That being said, I think some people overplay the victim card on this one. I think some people use it as a scapegoat to avoid acknowledging other issues like porn addiction, intimacy issues, and sexual incompatibility within relationships.

Than there's the people who try to conflate a hospital performed medical procedure with Female Genital Mutilation from like rural Africa or India.

AFAIC if your biggest problem in life is that you're circumcised... shut the fuck up? Or complain about something more important than your own dick.

TLDR: Don't do it.

Do you approve of genetic mutilation* for cultural reasons?

I think your answer lies there.

*)

Circumcision was associated with frequent orgasm difficulties in Danish men and with a range of frequent sexual difficulties in women, notably orgasm difficulties, dyspareunia and a sense of incomplete sexual needs fulfilment.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21672947/

This one of those topics where you will only get one side because the options are very very strong and anyone voice that deviates from a "no" will be silenced and they know it so they just won't participate here.