16
top 13 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] flamiera@kbin.melroy.org 2 points 7 hours ago
[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

yes.

feelings are not love. the yare feelings. love is the actions you take.

[-] blackbrook@mander.xyz 3 points 11 hours ago

I think the way conscious will and unconscious feelings interact is more complex than most recognize, and the language we have to talk about it is insufficient.

[-] fizzle@quokk.au 3 points 13 hours ago

Define love.

[-] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 31 points 22 hours ago

Falling in love is not a choice. Staying in love is a choice.

[-] makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml 4 points 21 hours ago

Boosh. There it is.

[-] Monster96@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago

Couldn't have said it better myself

[-] Apeman42@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

Romantically? I don't suppose that there's much choice to falling in love. But continuing to love someone once the honeymoon glow wears off, and it's not always as happy and easy? I think that is, to some degree, a choice you make.

[-] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 hours ago

Past that point its work. Just like work it helps to want to do it in the first place, and there are rewards in it for you, but its still a conscious effort.

[-] modernangel@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

The word "love" is used in a number of distinct senses. Some aren't a matter of volition - I love a nice glass of Merlot or a mug of ale with dinner, and I can choose day-to-day whether or not to indulge that taste - but I didn't choose the preference itself. It just is.

In another sense, love is measured in the time and effort you spend on someone's happiness. If I say I love my kids but I don't ever make time to bond with them and demonstrate what it means to be the parent they want and need - then yes we should question if that's really love.

[-] 200ok@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I heard that we're genetically predisposed to find babies cute so we take care of them long enough to pass on our genes. Does that count?

[-] elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 2 points 21 hours ago

Its a neuro-chemical con job.

[-] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Our brains are so god damn stupid

this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
16 points (90.0% liked)

Asklemmy

51615 readers
975 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS