Falling in love is not a choice. Staying in love is a choice.

yes.

feelings are not love. the yare feelings. love is the actions you take.

Romantically? I don't suppose that there's much choice to falling in love. But continuing to love someone once the honeymoon glow wears off, and it's not always as happy and easy? I think that is, to some degree, a choice you make.

Yes

I think the way conscious will and unconscious feelings interact is more complex than most recognize, and the language we have to talk about it is insufficient.

The word "love" is used in a number of distinct senses. Some aren't a matter of volition - I love a nice glass of Merlot or a mug of ale with dinner, and I can choose day-to-day whether or not to indulge that taste - but I didn't choose the preference itself. It just is.

In another sense, love is measured in the time and effort you spend on someone's happiness. If I say I love my kids but I don't ever make time to bond with them and demonstrate what it means to be the parent they want and need - then yes we should question if that's really love.

Define love.

I heard that we're genetically predisposed to find babies cute so we take care of them long enough to pass on our genes. Does that count?

Its a neuro-chemical con job.