As half life two was originally intended to be a porn game no children were needed butt at the last minute valve chose to change direction due to Australian law thus only using the assets they already had the hl2 we know was birthed.

Somewhere in valve HQ there's a drawer filled with USB sticks containing all the penises that were torn off just like all those statues at the vatican

Well, the advisors have to eat somehow, you know

Valve spent the entire child NPC budget on indestructible plastic chairs

What do you think bugbait is?

It is automatically turned off in the settings page

You have to turn it on

They're all on a summer camp daytrip to Breenland for the duration of the story

At school.

While the adults are doing adult stuff (fighting on the rebellion, doing science, suffering in the dystopia) the kids have learning to do.

Went the same place the kids in GTA went.

Run over by SUVs at or around age of three; everyone eventually gave up

So you can fuck anyone, in any situation, without worrying about contraception.