jerry seinfeld dated a 17-year-old named shoshanna back in the 1990s. sorry if this is how you found out. seriously!
he has a point though
Calm down. It was just that one time!
jesus was just surfing a hole. he's not going anywhere.
dude imagine a water slide
shit dude a wave pool?
jesus just chilling on his phone and only moving up and down in the middle of a wave pool
Someone should email the Vatican and ask. Not because I think they have the answer, just because I think it'd be funny.
Are they on social media? I wanna see this conversation.
Do do it in person. You'll be sent to the Vatican catacombs to spend the rest of your days.
What if he slipped and accidentally turned it all into wine?
Could he still walk on it?
Probably stand still otherwise that walking on the sea part of the Bible would have been hilarious as Jesus flips all over the place in the waves as the disciples yell, “Oh shit! OH FUCK!”
I think saying "Jesus Christ!" It's warranted
Jesus did surf the first wave and lo, it was hella gnar
Let's be honest, he probably used a glass bridge, and got some disciples to swim underneath it to convince his followers to like and subscribe to his teachings
The answer to the question depends on if Jesus walks over water or on water. I think the idea of him not being able to bath without disabling his habilities is funnier so he would go down the river as if it were an icy slope, behaving as a drop of a highly hydrophobic substance.
What happens if it rains? Does he ping pong off the raindrops into the sky or dose he get a water bubble around him?
The water falls around him without wetting him, if it rains hard enough it would look like a water bubble so yes.
If hes in a bubble, but not above the water, he would be underwater. Meaning he would float to stand above his bubble if there's enough water there, bringing the bubble with him keeping him underwater. So, he would shoot strait up like a rocket, or perhaps liftoff before the rain touches the ground...
Is there an upper range on the power? What if a waterworld a billion light years away is directly overhead? Dose he travel to a surface faster than his human form could survive?
Jesus instantly vaporizing because technically there is ice in mars and he gets shot up is really funny but I think he can turn off the power at will and adjust the range
How does he drink water? Is that why he needs to turn water to wine?
Even wine has water in it, along with most of his body.
I feel like they did a bad job fleshing out the magic system, it’s full of plot holes like this.
I can imagine the soles of his feet being hydrophobic, but I don't see why the rest of him needs to be
It would look cool under the rain
Reminds me of those wizards in Discworld who are raised on dehydrated water, and can thus hover on water due to how much they hate its existence
He stands still
According to the lore, he's a god so he can do whatever the fuck he wants.
I mean, I figured it was more a case like Hercules where he's half god and thus is human with superpowers.
In the middle ages you would have burned at the stake for that heresy!
Jesus isn't half God, half man. He's all God and all man, and there's only one God.
Therefore he's also his own son, and he had to truly die (but only for 3 days) as a sacrifice to himself, to convince himself to forgive you for being the way he created you.
Then he came back for a bit before his human body physically rose up to heaven, where he sits at his own side.
But he'll come back again very, very soon. He just didn't get around to it in over 2000 years.
Get it right!
You forgot the Holy Spirit! Burn heretic!
Isn't that just his silhouette personified, like Peter Pan's shadow
Look... It's only 1030 am here. I should not be as drunk as that explanation would require to understand at this time of day.
How fast is the current?
Is there a flow threshold where he does start moving, and is that threshold relativistic?
Whichever he willed.
"Look, it's an important unresolved question. We are all in dire need of doctrinal clarification. Does anybody know the Pope's phone number?"
1-800-ASK-POPE. 5$ for the first minute, 1$ for each additional minute.
How many lands does he have left? Do I have any counter spells left? No way I'm allowing zombie jesus to walk on water, I got goblins to double on his ass.
The lighter side of ADHD
