30

Police are investigating after a man died and two children were injured during an officer-involved shooting on Main Street on Tuesday afternoon in Forest Hills.

Forest Hills Police Department spokeperson Matt Chamberlain stated that at approximately 2:30PM, a traffic officer at the intersection of Main and Elm Streets observed the man armed with what the officer believed to be a rifle behaving erratically around a group of children.

Police say that the man ignored the officer's command to halt. The officer fired several shots with their service pistol, striking the suspect and two of the children. Officers immediately rendered medical assistance, but the man died at the scene. The children were transported to Mercy Hospital, where they are in critical but stable condition after emergency surgery.

Witness Timothy Burns said that the man may have been experiencing a mental health crisis. "He was acting kind of crazy, carrying a broomstick, and leading a group of children down the middle of the streets of town," Burns said. "He only paused a moment when the officer hollered stop. That's when [they] shot him."

The suspect is described as a white man, about six feet tall, with black eyes and a button nose, wearing a top hot and scarf. He was not carrying ID, and is believed to be homeless. Authorities have not released the identities of the children.

top 4 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 2 points 5 days ago

Okay that took a minute but it was worth the walk. Nice!

[-] adhocfungus@midwest.social 5 points 1 week ago

It took me longer than I would care to admit to figure out this was an Onion article. Reads just like a normal story involving US cops.

[-] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

Honestly yeah, I don't see the ridiculous satire in this which is usually how onion articles read; they've shot black people for being armed with phones

[-] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago

That's what inspired me to write it. Hearing the song on the radio, I could only just imagine what would happen if Frosty ignored the traffic cop now that police have become power-tripping thugs.

this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
30 points (96.9% liked)

The Onion

6945 readers
495 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS