I never really understood the fascination with ranch that some people have.
I was sitting in a Walmart parking lot in rural Iowa many years ago waiting for my inlaws to finish shopping. An older couple, probably early 60s, starts unloading their groceries into the station wagon next to me. The woman grabs a bottle of ranch from one of the bags, takes a long swig, screws the lid back on, tosses it into the trunk, and continues unloading the cart.
It was the most American thing I've seen outside of a jail cell.
Ranch it up bro!
As a Californian this is why the fly over states disgust me. At least when I'm weird with food it at least has two primary ingredients, like the nacho dog which is basically just taking a hot dog and dipping it in nacho sauce.
Ranch is gross tbh
I've found that basically all commercial ranch (hidden valley) is mostly just soybean oil and doesn't taste like shit.
A local pizza joint to me has custom made ranch that is unironically amazing. YMMV.
Homemade ranch (or at least, mixed up on site for restaurants) can be really good. There’s a bar near me that serves a great ranch with their buffalo wings. The thick, globby stuff in the bottles never lives up to expectations.
Nothing wrong with thick, if it's got good flavor. I wish I had gotten Po' Folks (a southern food restaurant chain local to me) ranch dressing recipe before it went out of business during the pandemic. It actually had identifiable chunks of minced carrot etc. suspended in it.
I miss it so much, along with a few other things from that place, that I'm almost motivated to try to track down somebody who used to work there and remembers.
Yup. I’ve never had a good mass produced Ranch. Homemade Ranch is crazy good.
Maybe this is just the American within me speaking, but I unironically enjoy comercial sauces. If it was disgusting, no one would buy them.
Is the local place Jet’s? People go crazy for their ranch around here
No it's a locally owned pizzeria that has a secret recipe. I've been told it's primarily a lard base.
Diplet detected.
Ranch is merely the primer for the second coating of whichever sauce you prefer.
I never understood the fascination with becoming as fat as possible
some people have their lizard brains react very poorly to the amount of sugar and fat and salt that's inside modern hyper palatable food. i don't think many people necessarily want to get fat enough to be at risk for various diseases, it just happens to them. and there are also people more at risk for impulsive actions or less control over their actions, like people with adhd and autism.
a lot of the information on nutrition out there is also either pure propaganda or meant to muddy the waters, so sometimes for people who aren't very into nerding out over things it can be difficult to understand what good nutrition might be like.
At some point you gotta admit the nuggies are only there so you're not shoving spoonfuls of ranch down your gullet
bro that's disgusting
Some people like nuggets. No need to shame.
Diplet detected
Why do I want to try this now
Because you touch yourself at night!
I feel seen.
...does that make it better for you?
"diplet detected"
People will pick anything to act superior about, huh
Some people are just better at being Superior than others
I mean, that's basically the entire premise of any insult on 4chan. The original days had anything be an insult simply by appending '-fag' at the end.
chopsticks. you need chopsticks
And coronary occlusion emergency surgery. Sooner or later.
This is next level science of dipping here.
The use of the cupcake tray for a dipping sauce tray is pretty great. Im always excited when my kitchenware has multiple purposes.
Anon is so sauce-pilled that he buries th fkavour and texture of the actual nugget. He is PUNISHING himself
A scientist in his prime
Weird. Since when did 4chan (or any of its lookalikes) have quotation boxes?
since always I think, you just hover over the post ID link and it inlines it (only while hovering, though)
For basically any chan board when you hover over a ">>#######" it shows the post it points to.
Remember, a thin paint will stick to a thick paint. Thanks, Bob Ross
Im a double dipper because I never share my tendies
If your plate doesn't look like a pallet of paint after you've loaded it up, are you really living?
medium rare nuggies
This is a sauce delivery system at peak efficiency.
shiii
I just throw the nuggets in a large mixing bowl. Toss in a couple tbl of Gochujang, 1 tbl toasted sesame oil a tsp of honey, some sesame seeds, 2 tsp garlic powder, green onion, thin shallot, and a nice healthy dose of kosher salt. If I'm feeling fusiony, i'll swap the salt with Sazon seasoning.
id say most of the time whatever you are dipping is the secondary thing, you just want to eat the dip but eating it by itself is too overwhelming.
the right ratio of salsa to nacho is 2 parts salsa 1 part nacho so
2:1 ratio (by mass)
That's why knowing physics and densities matter. It allows you to multi-dip without contamination.
Next-generation fatassery
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
