The full paragraph is even... "better"

“The term ‘indentured servant’ is more accurate,’ but yes, Mr. Bowser does technically work for Nintendo against his will,” the spokesperson said. “Please understand, we were very upset at the time of his arrest, as he and Team Xecuter had cost us tens of millions of theoretical dollars. We had hoped that we and our players had put this shameful incident behind us, but with that said, we have no intention of freeing Mr. Bowser. After all, as we have shown in his case and many, many others, we are fiercely protective of our beloved little characters.”

Is this an onion piece??

Edit: yes, it is

On the flip side of things is Different Colors. These are the video game and pop culture satire pieces you’ve come to know and love from us over the years.

@Wheaties@hexbear.net this must be tagged as satire or deleted

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anyone who's had the bare minimum competence in even the Common Core curriculum knows that 'indentured servitude' is slavery with window dressing. they teach that shit in the seventh grade. PR really fucking debases themselves into the most spiritually-degrading rhetoric for a paycheck, man. How do you get yourself to say this and not want to die?