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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by LinkOpensChest_wav@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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[-] frog@beehaw.org 33 points 11 months ago

It's definitely good to hear this from time to time. Even though I'm gay and trans, I often feel like I'm "not queer enough" to be part of the community. I do wonder if it's more of a "too old and not extrovert enough" thing, though. Not so much a problem online, but out there in the physical world, I've never met another LGBT+ person who wasn't decades younger than me, many decibels louder than me, or both.

[-] mPony@kbin.social 6 points 11 months ago

@frog (just making sure you get a notification of this reply - some servers aren't great at that)

beg pardon for upcoming language where I try to tell you what to think, it comes from a positive place.

friend, don't ever let the attitudes of others make you feel like you're "lesser."

Let me tell you about one of the most wonderfully boring things I've ever seen. One of the most powerful displays of belonging was at my first Pride parade, oh wow this was ages ago. I didn't notice the name of the group, I'm sure they had a banner, but it just looked like a bunch of regular people walking in the middle of a parade. All I could think at the time was "where is the colourful clothing? why are they not dancing? Where is the outrage? where is the joy?" I didn't see anything that would make me judge them as being worthy of being in a pride parade. Fuck just writing it makes me realize how stupid I was :) Spoiler: They were in the pride parade because they were all queer. Pick a letter, that was them. And they all looked totally normal, and they didn't dance and sing and turn themselves about. Because that was the kind of queer they were.

if you're "too old" you still matter. If you're "too boring" you still matter. You are not unworthy.

[+] SLaSZT@kbin.social 22 points 11 months ago

[deleted]

[-] frog@beehaw.org 13 points 11 months ago

As a furry, I agree with this. While there are plenty of furries that are LGBT+ (Furscience did a survey a few years ago, with thousands of respondants, which revealed only 20% of furries are cishet), being a furry is a hobby, and not an identity/minority that needs support and respect. Living as one's gender and sexuality is essential for life; enjoying anthropomorphic animal characters is not.

[-] RadioRat@beehaw.org 10 points 11 months ago

Chiming in as another trans/bi/poly person. Poly also feels much more elective than trans or bi to me personally.

Living as my gender is essential to existing and romantic companionship makes life more worth living. Can live without being poly in practice without significant onus.

[-] Zoop@beehaw.org 5 points 11 months ago

Thank you. I fully agree and was thinking the same thing. 💖

[-] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 11 months ago

Also poly, bi and trans. Big agree.

[-] Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org 1 points 11 months ago

Furries will never get respect from me. Being a furry is a choice. Lugbitiqua is not.

That furries are generally part of the LGBT community is interesting, but that doesn't somehow make being a furry a protected group. If you choose to stick your goody bits in a fursuit more power to you, but if people make fun of you for being a grown (and seemingly predominantly functional) adult in a fursuit, that's just the price of being a furry.

[-] FedFer@iusearchlinux.fyi 8 points 11 months ago

As a furry, you're right but actually no. Furries are not and should not be regarded as a minority or an identity. This doesn't change the fact that if you make fun of people just cause, you're an asshole. If you do have any particular reason for not liking the furry community I would love to hear them to clear any possible misunderstanding (it's way more common than you think) and try to understand your point of view a bit more.

[-] Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org 1 points 11 months ago

Reread what I wrote, but a bit more closely.

[-] FedFer@iusearchlinux.fyi 4 points 11 months ago

I don't get why you'd expect people to make fun of furries, I'd like a better explanation than just "adult in a fursuit"

[-] Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org 1 points 11 months ago

Fuck me you are thick.

That word is the key part of the sentence, but you keep making statements and inferences which amount to putting words in my mouth.

That said,

I don't go out of my way to make fun of furries, but a lot of people do. Why? Probably because it's ridiculous, cringy, and weird. But you do you. Also, on a practical note... The logistics of fursuits (as in humping in them, getting them all sweaty, cum all over the inside, soaking them in a bathtub, and scrubbing them out) is just fucking nasty.

But it's your hobby, go wild. But don't bother getting buttmad when people make fun of you for it.

[-] UngodlyAudrey@beehaw.org 11 points 11 months ago

This entire comment is fundamentally not nice. Even disregarding the first part, the fact that you go to this much trouble to express your revulsion of furries is rather mean spirited. Like, I'm not a furry, but imagine being one and reading what you just wrote. There is no reason why you couldn't have kept that to yourself. Try to be a bit more understanding, yeah?

[-] Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I don't have any revulsion to furries. I simply don't care. They don't effect me in any real way.

What I do have a very big problem with is furries trying to somehow make themselves a part of the LGBTQ community. Imagine for a second that it actually happened. The LGBTQ community welcomes furries with open arms. At that point you have undermined the entire movement! Sure, me and other lefties like me are always going to support LGBTQ. But what about the ton of people that sit in the middle of the road that have no dog in the fight one way or the other? Instinctively they know that supporting LGBTQ is correct, and the right thing to do.

But then all of the sudden furries become part of that group. At that point you've probably lost most of those middle of the road type of people.

People love to think of this as right-wing versus left wing, and yes that is a big part of it, but the thing is that the vast majority of people are actually more in the middle. They generally lean right or left of the middle but those people in particular will go right sometimes or sometimes they'll go left depending on what it is. We need those people. Those people help Lefties get elected and indirectly help affect change.

Imagine what kind of a field day right-wingers would have with that. The attack ads write themselves. It would be an absolute shit show and the LGBTQ movement would be essentially dead in the water. Don't forget that literally half of the ~~fucking idiots~~ "very good people" on the right believe that teachers were putting kitty litter in classrooms.

[-] Powderhorn@beehaw.org 4 points 11 months ago

For someone who doesn't care, you put an awful lot of time and effort into talking about how you don't care.

Regardless, as mentioned by others, this does not provide license to belittle others for their choices. I don't get the whole furry thing, but as others choosing that hobby doesn't affect me, meh. The right has plenty on the outrage buffet before furries enter the picture, so their existence and interconnectedness with the queer community doesn't move the needle the way you're claiming.

[-] Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org 1 points 11 months ago

In general I don't care about furries one way or another. As I stated, what I do care about is furries trying to position themselves under the LGBTQ umbrella. I care a lot about that, and you should as well.

[-] Powderhorn@beehaw.org 4 points 11 months ago

If you think you know what I should care about, you've just lost me.

[-] admin@beehaw.org 10 points 11 months ago

...you are thick.

When you signed up for Beehaw you agreed to our only rule: Be(e) nice. Name-calling is NOT nice. Consider this a warning.

[-] alyaza@beehaw.org 5 points 11 months ago

what are we doing here, chill out

[-] BaroqueInMind@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

I am ignorant. Can someone help me out and explain 2-spirit? Isn't that just bi?

this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023

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