Just for completeness sake, the usual way of accessing a server is over SSH, using the console. That would be openssh-server on the pi and openssh-client on the laptop.

Also, I don't know if it's available on ARM, but Sunshine and Moonlight run so much faster than VNC. It's meant for gaming but works perfectly fine for remote desktop access. Sunshine is the server and Moonlight is the client.

If your looking for a remote access to a desktop/GUI Rustdesk.com Is a quick and easy option. Mesh Central is also a good but a little more involved as you need to setup a central server.

There are a few others options if you have a VPN access. Like XRDP servers that lets you use RDP clients, or you can use VNC as well.

I assume you have configured raspberry to start the desktop environment when at boot. Also, that this is on the internal lan only. You can run raspiconfig and enable vnc. Then from your laptop run a vnc client and connect to the server.

I recently read that RealVNC has a deal with raspian for remote access to any raspberry PI. They have a lite version with 3pc's but I think as many pics as you own.

Process to enable it if you are using one of their os'

https://help.realvnc.com/hc/en-us/articles/360002249917-VNC-Connect-and-Raspberry-Pi#:~:text=RealVNC%20Server%20is%20included%20with,to%20control%20your%20Pi%20from.

If the desktop is gnome, you can enable RDP in the settings.

Install x2go on the laptop/PC. You need X and SSH on the server. That's it, when you connect it will open a new desktop session on the server.

If you want to connect to an existing desktop session you need x2godesktopsharing installed on the server, you need to activate sharing in x2godesktopsharing, and in x2go client (on laptop/PC) you need to select "session type" as "X2Go/X11 desktop sharing".

I've found this page to be super helpful over the years:

https://c-nergy.be/blog/?cat=79

https://www.tailscale.com/

Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I've seen in this thread:

5 acronyms in this thread; the most compressed thread commented on today has 6 acronyms.

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Parsec also runs very well.