22
submitted 11 months ago by mayflower@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 38 points 11 months ago

Item in grocery store doesn't scan.

That means it's free!

[-] wetnoodle@sopuli.xyz 3 points 11 months ago

Every time I hear this one I wanna break the product in half and walk away😭

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

why do people say this?

I can only imagine they have the most repetitive, robotic lives.

[-] bigboismith@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

Working hard or hardly working?

[-] qwrty@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Are ya a smart fella, of a fart smella?

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

More of a fart fella

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 7 points 11 months ago

What.... I like that one. Sorry.

[-] Linuto@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Just make sure you find and stick close to the other people at your job who think it's funny.

[-] llamapocalypse@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

"Watching porn at work, so both."

[-] essellburns@beehaw.org 10 points 11 months ago

Talking about any ear or hearing trouble and someone replies "pardon?"

🤦🤬

[-] DudeBro@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

I do this, but I like to respond with a loud and sudden "WHAT" which is probably less funny and more obnoxious but it usually gets a laugh

[-] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

As someone who's been hearing impaired my whole life, yes. The urge to punch the person in the face right at that moment sometimes seems irresistible.

[-] essellburns@beehaw.org 2 points 11 months ago

I'd like to believe I'd still have that reaction to this "joke" even if my hearing was fine, still I do agree with you that it's really extra infuriating when explaining a genuine hearing issue

[-] GreyShuck@feddit.uk 8 points 11 months ago

To a colleague arriving 10 mins late: "Afternoon."

To a colleague arriving 10 mins early: "Shat the bed?"

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

I feel like if I shat the bed, I'd be late instead of early.

[-] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 5 points 11 months ago

Agreed 💯, this is not amusing.

[-] LadyLikesSpiders@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

As someone who works the later shifts, it took me a while to figure out what was wrong with "afternoon". It's been so long since someone has said good morning to me at work

[-] ReCursing@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago

I have been unfortunate enough to hear various racist and/or homophobic jokes over the years, so probably one of them

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago

Three moles were digging a tunnel. One of the moles farts. The next mole says, "smells like rutabagas". The next mole says, "smells like carrots".

After a long pause, the first mole turns to the last mole that has not spoken yet and asks what they smell.

The last mole says "molasses" and gets back to digging.

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

I read this joke when I was maybe 13 and I never understood it. More than a decade later I was randomly driving around and I remembered this joke and got it.

[-] TotallyHuman@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 months ago

Maybe just because we don't understand it, but the ancient Sumerian bar joke:

A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one.'

[-] showmustgo@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The "I have a [topic] joke, but [topical reason why it wouldn't land or you wouldn't get it]" template

[-] kman@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

All of those trite reddit-tier quips that people repeat like they're filling out a template. Like

Person 1: such and such thing is shit

Person 2: that's an insult to shit!

I gotta figure they don't even find it funny themselves but just do it out of obligation. Hopefully now that AI is replacing all the commenters the conversation will become less robotic.

Some chowder head in the 80s said "you've never seen me and batman in the same room at the same time" and now we're all paying for it. "I'd call them a removed but at least those have warmth and depth"

[-] SilentStorms@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 11 months ago

I also choose this guy's overused jokes.

[-] Scheisser@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

A man went to a shop and they had a shovel.

[-] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

It's a toss-up between Elon Musk and people saying "WHAT?!" when I tell them I'm hearing impaired.

[-] snowe@programming.dev 1 points 11 months ago

The “we are not the same” meme. I understand the point, it’s just not funny. It’s cringey as hell.

this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
22 points (84.4% liked)

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