22
submitted 2 years ago by mayflower@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
all 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 38 points 2 years ago

Item in grocery store doesn't scan.

That means it's free!

[-] wetnoodle@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 years ago

Every time I hear this one I wanna break the product in half and walk away😭

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

why do people say this?

I can only imagine they have the most repetitive, robotic lives.

[-] bigboismith@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago

Working hard or hardly working?

[-] qwrty@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Are ya a smart fella, of a fart smella?

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

More of a fart fella

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 7 points 2 years ago

What.... I like that one. Sorry.

[-] Linuto@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Just make sure you find and stick close to the other people at your job who think it's funny.

[-] llamapocalypse@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

"Watching porn at work, so both."

[-] essellburns@beehaw.org 10 points 2 years ago

Talking about any ear or hearing trouble and someone replies "pardon?"

🤦🤬

[-] DudeBro@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

I do this, but I like to respond with a loud and sudden "WHAT" which is probably less funny and more obnoxious but it usually gets a laugh

[-] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

As someone who's been hearing impaired my whole life, yes. The urge to punch the person in the face right at that moment sometimes seems irresistible.

[-] essellburns@beehaw.org 2 points 2 years ago

I'd like to believe I'd still have that reaction to this "joke" even if my hearing was fine, still I do agree with you that it's really extra infuriating when explaining a genuine hearing issue

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 8 points 2 years ago

Three moles were digging a tunnel. One of the moles farts. The next mole says, "smells like rutabagas". The next mole says, "smells like carrots".

After a long pause, the first mole turns to the last mole that has not spoken yet and asks what they smell.

The last mole says "molasses" and gets back to digging.

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

I read this joke when I was maybe 13 and I never understood it. More than a decade later I was randomly driving around and I remembered this joke and got it.

[-] GreyShuck@feddit.uk 8 points 2 years ago

To a colleague arriving 10 mins late: "Afternoon."

To a colleague arriving 10 mins early: "Shat the bed?"

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

I feel like if I shat the bed, I'd be late instead of early.

[-] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 5 points 2 years ago

Agreed 💯, this is not amusing.

[-] LadyLikesSpiders@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago

As someone who works the later shifts, it took me a while to figure out what was wrong with "afternoon". It's been so long since someone has said good morning to me at work

[-] ReCursing@kbin.social 8 points 2 years ago

I have been unfortunate enough to hear various racist and/or homophobic jokes over the years, so probably one of them

[-] TotallyHuman@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 years ago

Maybe just because we don't understand it, but the ancient Sumerian bar joke:

A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one.'

[-] showmustgo@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The "I have a [topic] joke, but [topical reason why it wouldn't land or you wouldn't get it]" template

[-] Scheisser@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

A man went to a shop and they had a shovel.

[-] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago

It's a toss-up between Elon Musk and people saying "WHAT?!" when I tell them I'm hearing impaired.

[-] snowe@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago

The “we are not the same” meme. I understand the point, it’s just not funny. It’s cringey as hell.

this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
22 points (84.4% liked)

Asklemmy

48798 readers
838 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS