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Cuba owns Yankee dork on jet-ski (www.reuters.com)

submitted 11 months ago by Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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fidel-bat amerikkka

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[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 55 points 11 months ago

The report alleged the man, a Cuban residing in Florida, had entered Cuba illegally on a jetski with a Florida registration, which he then abandoned in a mangrove swamp on the island`s north coast before making his way overland to Cienfuegos, in south-central Cuba.

The man then attempted to recruit others to assist in committing acts of violence, arson and vandalism before his eventual arrest, according to the report.

I like how the plot consists of bringing a few handguns on a jet ski, abandoning the jet ski in a tidal flood zone, and then wandering around the first town he found asking strangers if they'd like to commit arson.

[-] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 43 points 11 months ago

Bay of Pigs, first as tragedy, then as farce, now as whatever this is.

[-] jonne@infosec.pub 35 points 11 months ago

Classic CIA shit. 'the people will rise up and take up arms as soon as they hear about capitalism!'

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

It’s more likely that he’s a QAnon nut who believes the CIA is against his agenda lol. They would’ve happily assisted him but he was too stupid to ask them and went on his own

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

"not so fast, buddy, I'm not just gonna give you this gun"

[-] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

I personally imagine that the dude is a turbo crakkka who didn't speak a word of Spanish and just tried to recruit terrorists in increasingly loud and slow English.

[-] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

He heard that Castro had overthrown Batista starting with 12 men and thought he could repeat that.

[-] huf@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago

real invasion of sark feel:

In late August 1990, an unemployed French nuclear physicist named André Gardes, armed with a semi-automatic weapon, attempted an invasion of Sark. The night Gardes arrived, he put up two posters declaring his intention to take over the island the following day at noon. The following day he started a solo foot patrol in front of the manor, in battle-dress, weapon in hand. While Gardes was sitting on a bench waiting for noon to arrive, the island's volunteer connétable approached the Frenchman and complimented him on the quality of his weapon.[24] Gardes then proceeded to change the gun's magazine, at which point he was tackled to the ground, arrested, and given a seven-day sentence which he served in Guernsey

[-] CannotSleep420@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 11 months ago

This is even more comical than the US coup attempt against Venezuela that was thwarted by unarmed fishermen who just happened to be around at the time.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

I don't know. That was a fisherman militia and we got a photo of yankee pig-dogs pissing themselves on the ground. It was such a beautiful moment in the death of empire.

This is hilarious but it needs an iconic photo that highlights the absurdity.

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago

Gusanos get fucked. fidel-balling

Destroying US-based gusanos who try to arrive by boat to terrorize Cuba is a tradition of the Cuban Revolution. This loser is lucky he made it ashore. They should throw his ass in Guantanamo.

[-] Zvyozdochka@hexbear.net 35 points 11 months ago

Florida man does it again. che-smile

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago

Cuba thwarts terrorist plot by South man likely suffering from mental illness and/or drug addiction who arrived by jetski, state-run media says

I was wondering the other day if my Citations Needed official Florida Man plugin still works and by gum it sure does

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 29 points 11 months ago

don't even have to back to Bay of Pigs to see US backed wound-up-and-set-loose terrorists like this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1997_Cuba_hotel_bombings

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cubana_de_Aviaci%C3%B3n_Flight_455

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luis_Posada_Carriles

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coordination_of_United_Revolutionary_Organizations

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_American_National_Foundation

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_66

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omega_7

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothers_to_the_Rescue

the only surprise here is that the US media is reporting it happened, instead of vanishing it down a black hole while characterizing the cuban government as paranoid for pointing out that terrorists are allowed to fundraise, plan, execute terror campaigns all from the safety of the US with the full knowledge and support of the government.

while the cuban government supplied information to the US government law enforcement about these criminals, the FBI would insist it needed more evidence. the cuban government, taking the US government at face value, infiltrated US based cuban terrorist organizations and supplied reams of evidence with specific crimes linking to specific people. the FBI took the evidence and used it to root out the infiltrators and lock them up in prison, while ignoring the terrorists. the movie the Wasp Network is about this event and the Cuban Five, the heroes of this story who were run through a kangaroo court and convicted with heinous sentences of many decades on bullshit charges.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_Five

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

The Cubans are too good for their northern neighbors. They need to treat every yank with suspicion

[-] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

Posada celebrated Castro's death and then died not too long afterwards from throat cancer. I hope he suffered excruciating pain from that.

[-] 666PeaceKeepaGirl@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

Luis Clemente Posada Carriles (February 15, 1928 – May 23, 2018) was a [...] Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) agent. He was considered a terrorist by the United States' Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)

amerikkka-clap

[-] RollaD20@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

the movie the Wasp Network is

genuinely a great movie, easily one of my favorite movies.

[-] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago

Bay of Pig

[-] Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

Bay of Hog more like it

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Rockstar’s marketing for GTA VI is getting wild

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

Genuinely impressed by the long distance jetski ride.

Anyway get wrecked loser.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Besides the fact that you're have to be crazy to drive a jetski in the open ocean - how long would it take to go that distance on a jetski? Also is it far enough that he'd need to carry extra fuel?

Edit: Of course he could have ridden in a boat nearly the whole way. But that's not funny.

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

This sent me down a rabbit hole. Apparently stock US market PWCs are limited at 65mph via GPS. A little tinkering can get them over 70, and some more dedicated mods and power will push 80+. But you need some major retooling if you want to get over 100. But that would be worthless on open ocean because the forced induction parts wouldn't be very reliable when you're in the air then slamming into the next wave for half the time.

I rented a PWC in the Gulf of Mexico once and it was miserable. When you're in open water and going 50+mph normal swells become ramps that launch you pretty high up, and every landing feels like being punched in the gut. So you really need to go slow, probably less than 35 ish. So if you figure he probably started further north than the most southern point of FL, he probably had over 100 miles to ride. Couple that with the up and down distance of the waves and it was probably pretty grueling. Unless he managed to get perfect weather of course. But the vehicles themselves are capable, if they don't break down on you. Every person I've known who's had one has them in for repairs constantly. I'm glad it didn't break down on him though, otherwise we wouldn't have this hilarious story.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

Thanks.

I just accepted the likely reality he and the jetski were on a boat. But now I can dream he actually did a Florida man dialed up to 11 and rode his machine at ~35 mph all the way to Cuba.

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago

So... Let's say I show up on the shores of Cuba on a jetski, unarmed, and asked for asylum...

[-] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

I was having the same thought

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 3 points 11 months ago

Spring break boat trip!!

[-] LeZero@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

owned-2

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

Article text

Cuba thwarts terrorist plot by South Florida man who arrived by jetski, state-run media says

Reuters

December 9, 202310:33 PM EST・Updated 15 hours ago

HAVANA, Dec 9 (Reuters) - Cuba said late on Saturday it had thwarted a terrorist plot hatched in neighboring south Florida, according to a report broadcast on state-run media, after a man allegedly arrived on the island by jetski to commit acts of violence.

The resulting investigation, which state-run media said was still underway, alleged the plot was tied to at least two groups, Nueva Nacion Cubana and La Nueva Nacion Cubana en Armas, which Cuba has labeled as terrorist entities.

Reuters was unable to contact either of the groups late on Saturday.

The report said one of the men it had arrested, who appeared on the program but whose identity was unclear, was armed with several handguns, ammunition clips and ammo.

The report alleged the man, a Cuban residing in Florida, had entered Cuba illegally on a jetski with a Florida registration, which he then abandoned in a mangrove swamp on the island`s north coast before making his way overland to Cienfuegos, in south-central Cuba.

The man then attempted to recruit others to assist in committing acts of violence, arson and vandalism before his eventual arrest, according to the report.

State-run media said several other Cubans, residing both in South Florida and in Cuba, were under investigation for their involvement in the alleged plot.

The allegations comes just two days after Cuba published a list of more than 80 foreign nationals and entities it accuses of terrorism, including influencers, many long-time dissidents who reside in the United States and a candidate for mayor of Florida's Miami-Dade County.

The two groups identified in Saturday`s TV report appear on the list published by Cuba earlier this week, and are labeled as "criminal organizations based in the United States that organize, finance...and execute actions against the security of the Cuban state."

Reporting by Dave Sherwood Editing by Shri Navaratnam

[-] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

Moron probably thought he was going to be the next big hero on /pol/.

Welcome to Cuba, gusano. They don't go easy on fash there.

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 11 months ago

Kind of blows my mind how close Cuba is to Florida. Imagine just travelling from one country to another on a jetski like that. How long would the journey take? Key West looks like it's only maybe 3-4 hours away maybe?