I hold him down while I pee so that doesn’t happen anymore. It took one time when it went directly on my shorts for me to adjust my habits so it wouldn’t happen again.

Actually no. How the fuck do you piss not into the toilet while sitting? That’s the big advantage of sitting down, that and the extra comfort, you don’t have to aim.

The only times this has ever happened was when I was completely hammered and didn’t sit down properly.

Honestly I don’t even see how this is physically possible. Unless you literally do not have a dick there should always be enough - let’s say range - available to bring the urine exit point below the toilet bowl edge.

I feel weird writing this down.

No, I ensure my gentleman sausage is pointing downward before I let loose the golden stream.

If it happens twice a day then on the second you should know about it, right?

I've had that happen before a couple times. The worst though is when you sit down and the the shaft touches the water. It's like a surprise ice bath and it is not fun.

No. I usually have to wrap mine around my forearm a dozen or so times to keep it out of the water.

Uh, no.

I did once as a kid because I sat on the toilet like an idiot. My dad was... pissed

Used to happen to me when I was too fat to properly aim down there.

It happens to me very occasionally, specifically with circular toilet seats instead of oval toilet seats. There’s one toilet at my dad’s house that gets me every time.

Never happens.

I can't even quite visualize how that could happen.

Bold of you to assume I am "big enough" for that to be an issue

Used to happen to me when I was a kid. Now I'm just careful enough not to piss through the seat

Only had that happen like twice my entire life.