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submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by moreeni@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

A lot of people answering this struggle to understand what highly-specific means. I'm looking to, for the sake of experiment, highly-specific advice that gives a reader clear understanding of what they should do. Unlike the vague advice, on the contrary, that may be too abstract to get implementing it right away.

Inspired by this post but I wanted to change the question a bit to avoid the really vague answers as well as lower the age bar of target audience for the advice.

I'll start with a bunch myself, to give a better example of what I'm talking about:

  1. Read The Art of War by Sun Tzu. Ironically, because this is a post about specific advice, dude wrote a book with vague rules on how to do war, but the way it is worded is ridiculously good. If you take your time to think about the advice, you can find their appliances in the most unexpected fields.

I, for example, have improved my skill in videogames, out of all places, after reading the book. Sun Tzu said "If it is not advantageous, do not move". Instead of rushing into combat, I now consider whether my position, current health, location of health packs etc. work to my advantage. Sun Tzu made me realise team-based PvP shooters give you room to avoid and disengage combat, you can make more impact for the team if you choose your battle and have everything work for your advantage.

  1. Exercises are not just about a lot of dedication, long commutes to the gym, expensive memberships and the fear of being judged by other gym members. 7 minute workout is a thing and it will give you all the benefits at your own home without the need for equipment, and it won't take much time either.

  2. Buy an old used Kindle. For dirt cheap, you will get a device with a good e-ink screen that works without Internet connection, still has decent battery, is light and small. A new thing that makes reading so comfortable will trick you into reading more and books still happen a good medium for sharing information.

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[-] LopensLeftArm@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

Smoke weed erry day.

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Don't think you know it all. It's extreamly common to see young people being confident and cocky, despite having almost no life experience. Understand the enormous value of listening to people who have been in your shoes before. Almost everyone you see was your age before.

And with listen, I don't mean "do what they say". Just listen and think about what they say. Maybe they are wrong. Maybe not.

[-] lemmyreader@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago
  • Read The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga It is a mind blowing book that can help to improve your life and that of others.
[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago

You should do 10 minutes of metta meditation per day.

Set the timer, sit up straight, bring your hands together, then think to yourself (one thought per exhalation)

  • May I be protected and safe
  • May I be free from sickness and suffering
  • May I be peaceful and happy
  • May I be free from troubles and worry
  • May I be healthy and strong
  • May there always be kindness and friendship in my life
  • May I take care of myself with ease and joy

Once that's finished - seven breaths - pick someone else and say these things to them (silently in your own head), again one breath at a time.

Pick someone whom it's easy to wish well upon.

Once that's finished, pick someone of medium difficulty to feel good about. Maybe someone neutral.

Once that's finished, pick someone who's hard to feel good about. Maybe an enemy, or someone who disgusts you.

Then medium.

Then easy again.

Follow the pattern easy-medium-hard-medium-easy-medium-hard-medium-easy-.... until the timer goes off.

Normally I recommend starting a meditation practice with 5 minutes per day, but with 5 minutes and slow breaths you barely get through one person this way.

[-] chahk@beehaw.org 4 points 9 months ago

Open a 401k account, and start contributing to it. Funds permitting, try to max out your yearly contributions as much as current rules allow. Doubly so if your employer does any sort of matching. It's pre-tax, and you won't feel it per paycheck, but it adds up over the years.

[-] Peruvia@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago

Learn when and how to properly rest. It's easy to burn out for things that end up being not that serious. Prioritising your health and wellbeing is for the long run.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 3 points 9 months ago

Don't be afraid to be average. There's nothing wrong with high aspirations and if that's what you want then go for it but down the line should you realize that the effort you've put in has not brought the future you may have hoped for please don't beat yourself up about it. Not everyone needs to be the best in their field or a CEO or whatever it is you want to do. There's no shame in being mediocre in your career. As long as you can provide a comfortable life for yourself and the people you care about you've succeeded.

I find that this mentality helps me especially because while I do want to be exceptional I am not at all afraid of failing in that goal. It's significantly less stressful.

[-] diskmaster23@lemmy.one 3 points 9 months ago

Someone gave me good advice, and it has worked out well, so far. Put money away for retirement. Even a little bit will multiply as the years go on.

[-] racoon@lemmy.ml 3 points 9 months ago

Yeah depending on where you put it, it might shrink

[-] Hundun@beehaw.org 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Get a habit of tracking your habits. When you know everything you do while "on autopilot" and why, - you can outsource a lot of chores and work to your "autopilot" self by setting up your routines and habits correctly.

This skill is best learned as soon as possible, and it's a shame it's not taught in schools. 20s is a good time - all the momentum you gain within next 20 years can carry you the rest of the way.

Also, don't be hard on yourself for failing. You'll see tons of good advice - a lot of it will seem essential (like being financially responsible), for good reasons. Just know that failing at all these things does not necessarily make you a failure or a bad person. Who knows what struggles you might/will face - as long as you survive and take care of your loved ones, you should be ok. Ultimately that is all we can do.

Also, try to engage with physical things more: people IRL next to you, touch grass, craft something with your hands. Of it's not physical, it exists in your head, - and your head might not always be the best place to spend most your time.

[-] Lolman228@kbin.social 3 points 9 months ago

Shit yourself

[-] Teon@kbin.social 3 points 9 months ago

Wash your dick first.

[-] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

Develop a consistent meditation practice

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 months ago

Read black shirts and reds by Michael Parenti

[-] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 months ago

Start a meditation practice. Set aside time to sit quietly for 10+ minutes a day, not doing anything, without worrying about what you may or may not be accomplishing by doing so. Optionally look up additional basic instructions, but the specifics aren't that important.

[-] pingveno@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Or even a semi-meditative morning routine. I have some time between when I take a medication and when I eat breakfast, so I use that to brew up some nice tea. There's something grounding about starting every day with a teapot full of nice hot tea. I think it's something about both the routine and smell.

[-] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 9 months ago

Not to dismiss your positive experience with making tea in the morning, but I don't think you can really substitute other activities for meditation, it is its own thing.

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[-] mukt@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Find time to talk to people in person, at least the ones that are close to you. Just go with them for coffee/snack/beer and talk without the aid of technology.

EDIT : Make it a rule to have coffee/snacks/drinks only in company of real people.

[-] ulkesh@beehaw.org 2 points 9 months ago

Save money, invest money. And enjoy what you have for as long as possible.

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[-] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

Buy what you value, not merely what you can afford.

[-] Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Don't wait. Never wait. Things aren't going to get better, just do it now. There is no better time, if you want to do something do something.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 9 months ago

Therapy is useful and probably would help most people in at least a small way. We're finally at a point where it's not something people feel the need to hide. If there's anything in your life that you think may benefit from it, starting early can go a really long way.

I'm very far from who I was going to turn into because of the many valuable moments of insight found thanks to great therapists (three over ~30y). And don't write it off if you don't vibe with a therapist. Experience tells me that it's about a two-to-one ratio of bad fit to good. Asses in the first few sessions whether you think the person is a good fit and, if needed, move on.

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this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
64 points (92.1% liked)

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