To the tune of You Are My Sunshine:

You're Mr. Softie

Oh Mr. Softie

You are the peanut

Yes you're my boy

You are my boy dear you are my boy

My little sunshine my boy my boy

The most common one is for both the dogs together:

These are specials, these are mommy's boys

That's why she feeds them lots of treats

And gives them lots of toys

But my favorite one is for the golden, who is a sweet, giant, nasty bogdog who loves to pretend he is still a smol bebe who needs help onto the bed:

Kiertings is so tiny.....

No he not

He made of potatoes

And he weigh a lot

Kiertings is so shiny...

No he not

His coat made of burrs & mud

And he smell like rot

let the crunchies hit the floor

let the crunchies hit the floor

etc

A fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish PLECO PLECO

A fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish a fish PLECO PLECO

SNAAAAAIL OOOOO ITS A SNAAAAIL

Repeat

Sung to the tune of “Badger Badger Badger” by Mr. Weebl.

I sing Danny boy to my dog, who is named Dan.

Dexterboy
What is the secret of your power?
Dexterboy
Won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck...

Basically, it's Wonderboy by Tenacious D.

I just say "puppy" in a silly voice and make weird noises.

:kirby-jammin: that is a secret between me, my pets, and the NSA microphone I keep in my handbag pocket or bedside charging dock

[redacted] the cat. he is very large [redacted] the cat. He thinks he’s in charge

You're a Darby girl!

In a Darby woooorld

Chun - gus Chun - gus Ki - Wi Chun - Gus

Chun - gus Chun - gus Ki - Wi Chun - Gus

Sung kind of like a cave man chant

Get the fuuuck

out of my waaay

So I can fuck

en

feed

you!