I know it's not exactly what you asked but "To sleep in a sea of stars" by Christopher Paolini has humans at almost comparable with the aliens they interact with. Humans are slightly outclassed by the aliens in ship speed but the rest of the technology seems roughly comparable, with humans having better missile tech. It feels more like humans will lose a war of attrition if something major isn't done, not being completely outclassed.
I just enjoyed the book so much I'm recommending it regardless of the tech differences not quite aligning to the question.