97

You will not be allowed to cook it. It's epic bacon time.

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Good to see you here RFK Jr. I work with a Trump voter who remembers growing up during Camelot. She has expressed interest in your campaign. What is the most compelling reason for a lifelong Republican to vote for your Independent ticket?

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Lifetime rations of under cooked pork.

[-] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That might convince her. She needs a lot of food for the several dozen stray cats that she feeds.

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Glad to have her on board. I will also denounce Lancelot as a stupid slut who should have remembered bros come first.

[-] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I assume that by Lancelot, you mean Robert McNamara. Couldn't agree with you more.

[-] kashifshah@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 1 year ago

Can we have a side of bleach to wash out the vaccines in the pork?

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

My naturopath tells me if you keep a healing crystal next to your plate it will neutralize the vaccines.

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

What is your position on mercury poisoning? Woke or based?

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

Extremely based. Everyone knows eating several dozen tuna sandwiches a week is part of a balanced diet.

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

You will not be allowed to cook it.

I have a little microwave the size of the shredder the Israeli ambassador has

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Microwaving would destroy the most important part.

[-] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago
[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Mindflayer bard multiclassed into a dirgesinger

[-] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

Finally someone promises to post hog.

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

"now I know a lot of you are thinking, Robert, what about vegetarians and vegans? they will receive two rations of under cooked pork."

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Fear not citizen, cruciferous vegetables such as kale, broccoli and cauliflower are also acceptable for spreading the ~~worm~~ word of my people.

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Oh shit I love raw broccoli oh shit oh fuck!

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

I might have jumped to conclusions here from a Times of India clickbait article. If you're washing your broccoli you should probably be fine from joining the collective

[-] Edamamebean@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thank you Mr President, fusion cuisine such as pork sashimi is just the kind of thing our nation needs to unite and bring us together in these difficult and polarizing times.

[-] Hexphoenix@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

I'll vote for you but only if the pork is made of the-pigs

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Really any kind of uncooked meat that supports my brethren is on the table.

[-] TheModerateTankie@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Make America Violently Shit Again

[-] Rod_Blagojevic@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Everybody gets a paid day off because they're shitting their brains out.

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

You will be allowed to cease pork consumption once assimilation has been confirmed.

[-] Maoo@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Oh yeah. That's right.

It's tapeworm time.

Sounds like the dreaded populism.

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's what my uncle would have wanted before the CIA shot him in the fucking head. My head however is now impervious to bullets, they will just go straight through like in a cartoon.

See? Be wary with proposing such election bacon, there's bound to be pretty many potential voters for that, and even more as the food insecurity progress in USA. Can't you just promise more genocide like every respectable candidate?

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

How do we receive said daily ration? Does it arrive via mail?

I don't check my mail very often...

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

It will be delivered by aerial drone. Just make sure to get it in your mouth as soon as possible.

[-] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago
this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
97 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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