Someone make this make sense.

I'm a software developer. I need three things in order to do every aspect of my job on a day-to-day basis:

• A computer
• An internet connection
• Coffee

Most of my coworkers are in other states and even other countries. The closest physical office is an hour away, and has 0% of the people I work with most of the time. If I go to the office, it's for one of only two possible reasons: To attend a team event where others have flown in, or to see a couple very specific coworkers who it's helpful to see in person, but I only have a reason to interact with them once every few months.

At home I have a comfortable desk to work at, a door I can close, my "coding music" playlist, and no one breathing down my neck or asking me for anything. I'm productive, I'm happy, and when my work day is done, I can just step out of my little office area and... I'm home. And on days when I have no meetings, I can take my laptop to a coffee shop and work in an ambiance I find relaxing and fun.

Presumably, Amazon's developers feel the same. And especially after almost three years away from the office and 100% remote hiring, many of their teams consist of people who don't live anywhere near an Amazon office.

So... Why in the everloving fuck would Amazon want to do this?!?

At least this CEO is not as prehistoric as Zoom one lol.

Anyways, if i worked for Amazon I would be looking for another job ASAP, i value my time a lot.

I'm actually glad the veil has lifted and the owners are no longer trying to obfuscate their sociopathy behind jargon and buzz terms. They feel they've gained enough hard power to finally say what they mean: dance like good little wage slaves, or we'll throw you away.

Maybe some of these true believers who always thought they were one of the owner class's favorite little wage slaves will finally understand what they are under this rigged economy: expendable livestock.

Probably not most, but if we can chip away at any of the self-hating house peasants that defend their masters against their own interests, that's progress. The owners are the common enemy, and they are small in numbers, but they maintain power though their army of true believer deluded suckers dumb enough to believe their doting service will get them into the little club one day.

Without that legion of sucker peasants, the owners become vulnerable. Keep antagonizing your livestock, Assholes. Fuck around out of ego and find out, pretty please.

I love how covid is growing and we are still with this back to the office bullshit.

Ok. Bye then.

sigh

CEOs, I can assure you that the people who aren’t doing work from home aren’t doing any more work in person.

And what really sucks is this just the beginning. Soon enough, they’ll all demand everybody work in-person 5 days a week for the same supposed reasons.

Unionize

Go fuck yourself, Andy Jassy. I hope your name becomes as reviled as the scumbag you succeeded.

Textbook example of "the rules are for thee, not for me".

or look for another job

A threat.

Therefore hostile termination.

Therefore severance.

Amazon CEO is a dumbass and literally just lost this fight.

Man, can you imagine what it must be like to be a recruiter for Amazon?

Why do any of these people continue to work there under such deplorable conditions? I understand the warehouse workers dont have other opportunities and for many its the only employer where they live. But damn, Amazon treats its tech workers like shit and continues to make bad decisions day after day that only benefit those at the top.

I personally know 3 different people who worked at the Amazon corporate headquarters in office jobs. All three came out mentally and emotionally broken and defeated after just a few years. Some office employees get signing bonuses deferred and payed out only if they survive some number of years. They internally refer to it as getting their 'golden handcuffs' unshackled. One of the three people made it to then and quit...the other two quit after the first year. Amazon is a grinder of human meat, and it looks like they're getting back into the business of grinding with this new policy.

Online companies: you can do everything on the internet!

Also, online companies: except working.

All of FAANG and most big companies are forcing this hoping people won't have anywhere to go.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

Amazon’s CEO has told workers “it’s probably not going to work out” for them at the tech company unless they are prepared to come into the office at least three days a week.

Through an announcement on the company’s blog, Jessy said the leadership team had decided that it was better for Amazon’s culture and easier to learn from each other and collaborate more effectively when they are in office together.

The petition read: “Amazon’s top-down, one-size-fits-all RTO [return to office] mandate undermines the diverse, accessible future that we want to be a part of.”

The walkout was a protest against the company’s slow progress on climate goals and the return to office mandate.

This month, some Amazon workers in the US reported being tracked and penalised for not spending sufficient time in the company’s offices, an email sent to employees revealed.

The emails received by employees noted that staff members were “not currently meeting our expectation of joining your colleagues in the office at least three days a week”, according to the Financial Times.

The original article contains 404 words, the summary contains 175 words. Saved 57%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

I was forced back in June 2020. It’d kill for 2 days home a week 😭

Right in the midst of a COVID surge. Brilliant CEO they have there.

Sounds great. This mens they can stay home to look for a new job?