be me
billionaire
get flown everywhere by private boeing 747
for dinner every night eat polar bear liver and rhinoceros steak
only eat a couple bites. Don't want to spoil desert
production is up only 145% in my factories
start crying
wipe tears with million dollar bill
cut their healthcare and retirement to make up for lost profits
They shoulda worked harder like I did baka
get on diesel powered 747
fly to climate summit 4828 km away
give speech about how paper straws a better
Wouldn't you know it? My family owns the sweatshop that makes them

throw 453 592 370 000 kg of plastic into the ocean to celebrate