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Elon Musk Reportedly Offered SpaceX Employees Sperm to Seed Mars Colony (futurism.com)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by kamenlady@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
36 comments fedilink hide all child comments

SpaceX employees' work is breaking barriers, while this asshat keeps terrorizing them with his utter gross bullshit

Edit: after reading through the article again, some passages stuck out, like:

Apart from aspiring to become the biological father for his Martian colony, Musk has leveraged many of his own businesses to create a civilization on Mars, including Boring Company tunnels to dig under the planet's surface and a Tesla Cybertruck rugged enough to traverse its mountainous landscapes.

So, take it all with a grain of salt.

*Emphasis mine

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[-] Boozilla@lemmy.world 90 points 3 months ago

He has a dozen kids already. This dude needs to get his fetish under control.

[-] LavenderDay3544@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago

And most of them don't like him.

[-] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago

Almost everyone who's ever known him for more than 20 minutes knows he's a raging narcissist without the actual smarts to back it.

[-] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 71 points 3 months ago

Elon proving once again he is a fucking moron

[-] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 69 points 3 months ago

"No boss, we don't need your sperm. Please stop asking."

[-] formergijoe@lemmy.world 50 points 3 months ago

Elon totally has a my little pony in a jar.

[-] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 41 points 3 months ago

Imagine going to Mars but it's just filled with Elon descendants.

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago

If they're all like Vivian, that doesn't sound so bad

[-] Num10ck@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Elongated

[-] xe3@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago

The cyber truck is almost rugged enough to Brave the Home Depot parking lot (so long as it’s been recently paved.

[-] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago

Is anyone actually surprised? But ewww.

[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 months ago

Best way to start a colony is with a genetic bottleneck.

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

What a jerkoff

[-] Minarble@aussie.zone 3 points 3 months ago

Yeah, this Elon guy sounds like a right wanker.

[-] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This is just colonial monarchy with extra steps Edit: castrate the rich

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

I would like to sign up for a life of indentured servitude on Mars! The silver lining is it will be a short life.

[-] visikde@lemmings.world 21 points 3 months ago

Elmo put it back in your pants...

[-] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

TIL Elon keeps a cum jar.

[-] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 months ago

He uses it to spice up his cereal.

[-] sunzu@kbin.run 20 points 3 months ago

Teslatubby wants to propagate

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

I offer everyone I meet sperm, it’s what makes me a great host.

[-] BakerBagel@midwest.social 2 points 3 months ago
[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

I'd take Chevy Chase's sperm if it was given to me by Walton Goggins.

[-] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 3 months ago

Imagine having the misfortune of not only being stuck on mars, but also having to share your genes with this greasy fuck.

[-] CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

Inbred martians... Neat.

[-] uberdroog@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

"Just cup your hands" - probably.

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago

Anyone know how much the additional ~30 pounds of a human man, compared to a human woman and a test tube of cum, would cost to fly to mars? How many women would each mission need to take to offset the weight of a precisely calibrated refrigerator full of spunk? If, upon arrival on mars, they immediately begin pouring cum all over the ground, how delicious would Elon’s tears be?

[-] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

EwwwLon

[-] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 months ago

I hope when we get to Mars we are over the whole car idea and can start building train and path tracks instead of doing suburb 2 electric bogaloo

[-] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

any real colonization will be corporate sponsored and whatever is built there will be the most urban hellscape you can imagine.

[-] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago

"Sorry, your colony didn't pay the oxygen fee so we sealed all connections to other colonies"

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago

He really does think he is Horatio from Endless Space.

[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

More baby Elons?

[-] Windex007@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

If I was a SpaceX employee, I would not accept sperm in exchange for seeding a mars colony

[-] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

If he/they did go through with this I’d start a GoFundMe to reward the employee(s) that successfully sabotages the effort, wether by substituting their own sample or any other verifiable means.

this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
310 points (96.4% liked)

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