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Should I be worried that my girlfriend start having at 13 with her ex bf same age as her? (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Damnler@lemmy.world to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world
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Is this a big deal or I'm just over thinking it and its normal I'm fine. Their relationship lasted about a year so she's having sex at the age of 13 through her 14. After her ex she's doesn't have any encounter until we met at Freshman of college. She's 18 and I'm 19 at that time. So in summary she have two body counts one on her ex at 13-14 years of age second is me at 18.

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[-] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 4 months ago

Prolly for the best you erase the phrase body count from your vocabulary. It doesn't matter in the slightest.

[-] finestnothing@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Body count is very important, how else do you keep score for serial killers?

[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Body count is just one metric, but it does nothing to account for style, otherwise you'd get Gacy scoring above The Zodiac Killer, and that's just preposterous

[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

"Body count" is a exist, worthless way to qualify women, ever notice how it never applies to men the same way?

13 and 14 is pretty young, I'll admit, but not worth any concern

[-] Dkarma@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Dude seems eastern indian. They usually have the misogynistic questions like this without realizing how ignorant they come off as. The culture is still somewhat backward especially in remote areas

[-] carl_dungeon@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

The fuck are you talking about? What’s the problem?

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Is your native language not English?

You could have just said "My girlfriend has one previous sexual partner before high school, should I be worried?"

'Body Count' as a less than polite phrase aside, it would be 1, as this refers to previous sexual partners.

...

To attempt to answer two questions you may actually be asking:

  1. If you are concerned that she may have some kind unhealthy or immature concept of how sex works in a relationship, due to a fairly young age for a first sexual relationship, yeah maybe that is concerning, maybe she has some trauma related to that, maybe it's not a problem at all.

You would need to talk to her about that or give us some more details.

  1. If you are worried that you are a virgin and she is not, and that you might not sexually please her, then communicate this to her, or communicate during sex so that you can better please her and she can better please you.

A good partner would be understanding, supportive and helpful.

A bad one would mock you, and being with a bad partner isn't worth your time.

You've given no details about her actual personality or anything, so I have no way of knowing what kind of person she is.

[-] Damnler@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

She's a wise, caring, understanding and simply beautiful woman. She will only do such things when her ex initiates it. One more thing I like about her, is her honesty. She's quick to admit and confess about it.

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 months ago

Well when you put it like that, I'd say take it slow, be caring, honest and understanding back toward her, and things will probably work out well!

It sounds like she may be somewhat embarrassed by this past relationship, and you sound like you are capable of appreciating her overcoming that embarrassment or shame and being trusting and open with you.

[-] Damnler@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Yeah I'll try my very best.

[-] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 months ago

You should match her honesty and show her these posts you've made about her.

[-] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 10 points 4 months ago

why does her past have anything to do with you? you will most likely break up, you are young. does that mean your next partner can be upset that you've had sex before? i think not.

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Worried about what exactly? Probably not normal to be having sex THAT young, but what does it matter?

I'd only worry if she's still having sex with him.

[-] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Body count is something people like Jordan Peterson are worried about. If you respect women and aren't a right-wing nut or incel: You don't define people with when and how they had sex.
I'd say 13-14 is fine and you can have healthy intimate encounters at that age.
What's your own body count?

this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2024
-38 points (4.8% liked)

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