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I once did a toke at a party and then I died true story (slrpnk.net)

submitted 2 months ago by ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to c/memes@sopuli.xyz

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[-] riodoro1@lemmy.world 176 points 2 months ago

This is the amount I drop on the carpet when opening my grinder.

[-] orcrist@lemm.ee 63 points 2 months ago

Plot twist. The person holding the pot is Andre the Giant.

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 40 points 2 months ago

and he just drank 156 beers

https://www.eightieskids.com/156-beers-inside-andre-the-giants-unofficial-world-record/

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[-] Venicon@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Usually I drop onto the carpet after opening Grindr

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[-] harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 94 points 2 months ago

I'm sorry you died. Seems like your recovery is going well.

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 70 points 2 months ago

those teens didn't die, and in fact rose up 3 hours later to eat everything in the house

[-] halvar@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago

They rose up 3 days later

[-] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 60 points 2 months ago

5 lies in only 3 sentences....

Impressive

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

They left out that you need to inject it with a needle

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[-] dankm@lemmy.ca 60 points 2 months ago

I once caught gay from a used marijuana needle. Never again. Took a lot of prayer and fasting to make that go away. Ban it. Ban it all!

(/s, of course. Shouldn't be necessary but this is the internet....)

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Did you freebase the devil's lettuce from the needle or did you huff it from a used crack pipe you found in a medical refuse bin

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[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 54 points 2 months ago

It's only deadly if you inject the nug directly into your veins though.

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago

Snorting it is the only safe way, I hear.

[-] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

But don't grind it down first.

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[-] yokonzo@lemmy.world 38 points 2 months ago

Bitch that's barely a gram

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago

That mini bag probably weighs more than the micro nugget it contains.

Yay microplastics!

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I just smoke the microplastics and inject the weed into my nutsack.

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago

No, it's an eighth of a pound. Didn't you see the baked in text?

Perhaps you have already succumbed to the reefer madness.

[-] don@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago

NOT TO A CHRISTIAN AGAINST the POT WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE

DO YOU FUCKING USE the POT?!??!

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I piss in the pot, I smoke from a bowl..

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[-] BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

It’s probably .25g in my professional opinion

[-] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

That's way less than .25g I would even go for .1 or .15g

[-] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 36 points 2 months ago

That’s not even one whole marijuana

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 31 points 2 months ago

I smoked way more than that my first and only time. Somehow I am still alive. Maybe I died without knowing?

[-] Jojowski@sopuli.xyz 21 points 2 months ago

You are undead now, just like Jesus

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[-] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 29 points 2 months ago

Ugh, teenagers are just the worst. Thank you marijuanas!

[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 months ago

This actually happened to me the other day. Completely died.....

I got better

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[-] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

I tried via search and failed to prove it, but I'm nearly certain this was an old Facebook satire page.

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago

I feel like "Christians against the pot" gives the game away.

[-] CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world 25 points 2 months ago

No no longer think it's cool. Now I think it's AWESOME.

[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

My grandma fell and some of the pot slipped out of a stranger's pocket. It hit her right on the middle of her butt and then she's dead now. She tells me about it every day and is crying now as I type this, smh.

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 22 points 2 months ago

It's in a plastic bag because microplastics are safer than letting such a large dose of the marijuana leech into your skin

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago

Jesus fucking christ

[-] Comment105@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Why are Christians such prolific liars, anyways?

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 12 points 2 months ago

Cause they all learnt from the same book of lies

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[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 20 points 2 months ago

I should have died 6000 times

[-] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 12 points 2 months ago

🎵 And I should have died 6000 more 🎶

[-] Malfeasant@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Just to be the man who died 12000 times to .. rise up at your door? Bbbrains...

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[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago

Just check for fentanyl

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

True that.

Or stick with a trusted supplier. And even then, still be cautious.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 2 months ago

An 8th of an 8th of an 8th.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Enough fentanyl to kill a precinct of LA's finest.

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[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

"You wouldn't download the pot..."

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Are those fingers circumcised?

[-] SpicyAnt@mander.xyz 13 points 2 months ago

La lechuga del diablo.

[-] Default_Defect@midwest.social 11 points 2 months ago

I took a huge bong hit not knowing their shit was potent AF and got sent to the shadow realm once, does that count?

[-] fox2263@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

The pot

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[-] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago

Chris! Is that a weed?! I’m calling the police!!!

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

That’s a huge hand.

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Damnit, Jesus! How many "then I died" stories you gonna come up with?

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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024

622 points (96.3% liked)

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